I can't be repulsive anymore
If I could just lose all of this weight, then I'll be okay. I'm huge; I feel sick, ugly...absolutely repulsive. If I could just exercise some self-control, then maybe my stupid, fat self could manage to actually lose some weight.
I should punish myself. All I do is eat- I'm greedy, I don't deserve food. I don't need to eat this much.
I don't need to eat. I've gotten myself here- I can get myself out.