Thank you all so much for your encouragement and comments!
I do have relapses, it's been hard but it's been the longest I've been working to lose weight. I always quit after two months or earlier because it's too hard.
I know I can't give up now, not only for health reasons, I want a better job and I have the experience but dont have the body the big companies are looking for.
In one interview that guy even told me not to waste my time applying there, I was not "the type of girl we're looking for" I know what they meant cause a week later they hired a girl I know who is dumb a rock but she's very pretty and that always happens to me, I never get hired because of how I look.
I wanna change that and I know I have to change myself first! so thank you all!!