[nickii]

Hi guys,

I am writing this at 1am as I am feeling terrible and disgusted at myself.

I got married in March and did really well with dieting, got down to the lowest weight I've been since high school.

Since getting married I have started binging lots and gained about 5kgs rapidly. I feel awful, fat, bloated, ugly, revolting.

Right now I have stuffed myself so much I can barely move, my stomach hurts and I wish I could make myself throw up but I can't do that.

I have struggled with an Eating disorder on and off since I was a teenager but it has been well controlled for some years but every now and then I'll randomly go through binging phases which I can't control.

I should be happy, I jsut got married, but all I can thnk about is my weight gain and how much of a failure I am for eating all this food

I don't know what to do. If anyone can help it would be much appreciated

thank you so much

[Mrs Snark]

Hi Nickii, I'm sending you lots of hugs. You may want to check out some of the threads in the "Chicks in Control" forum, since lots of great ideas are shared there by those of us who struggle with binge eating.

Just know that many of us struggle with the problem and it doesn't make us "failures". You aren't a failure either. It is just a challenge we have that we have to work on. Lots of people have challenges, so we aren't even unique in that respect.

I just don't want you to define yourself by this one thing, we are all so much more than what we eat or what we weigh at any given moment.

[xRiotGirl]

I want to echo what Mrs Snark said and make sure you understand that you are not alone, which sounds cheesy but really is very true. There are lots of us! I have my own struggles, I'm sure Mrs. Snark has her own struggles, everyone on this entire forum right now is dealing with a struggle. It's okay. So, now you just have to work on finding your solution to your struggle. You don't have to figure it out right away or all at once.. I would encourage you to start trying some tips you see around here, one at a time. That way you can feel out which ones you know you can and will stick with, or which ones are too complicated.

Wishing you lots of luck. You've come here, so you're off to a good start already!

[Shannonsnail]

I developed binge eating disorder long before marrying but it sort of went in some kind of remission, if you will, before I married. Shortly after though it started up again and has continued since, 7 years. I think it's awesome that you are recognizing the situation so quickly. You are not alone. I also agree with others, it is not who you are. I spent a long time stuck in that lie.

[angie828]

I have suffered from binge eating all my life. It is not an easy thing to get over. I understand where you are coming from and know how hard it really is.

[Earthling]

Boy do I hear ya. I'm just coming out of some bad binges myself. One thing I recognize is that they tend to come and go in phases for me without anxiety or depression triggers. Just pure out my mind eating.
The binging phases last between a week to on/off a few months. And that I have to come "easy off" almost like a ween when I finally get a handle on it. I call it "easy off" because I am still binging but to a lesser degree, and consciously, everyday until it becomes conscious overeating until finally, I am back in control. There is no switch. At least not for myself.

My suggestion:

Apply brakes slowly.

And keep looking towards the future!
It's like riding a really bad wave and you think it'll never stop tumbling you. But you can get a handle on it

[SkylarLeeDixon]

I suffer from binge eating too so I feel ya! it landed me where I am now and it's easy, Im still trying to overcome it but sometimes I take it to the extreme and I dont eat at all!

Sweety, you just got married, you are on honeymoon bliss, when you're happy you can lose concentration, it happens! dont beat yourself too hard! just get your **** together and start working again! cause for some people this will never end!