Hi Nickii, I'm sending you lots of hugs. You may want to check out some of the threads in the "Chicks in Control" forum, since lots of great ideas are shared there by those of us who struggle with binge eating.
Just know that many of us struggle with the problem and it doesn't make us "failures". You aren't a failure either. It is just a challenge we have that we have to work on. Lots of people have challenges, so we aren't even unique in that respect.
I just don't want you to define yourself by this one thing, we are all so much more than what we eat or what we weigh at any given moment.