thirti4thirty - I wish you well working through this issue.
In the Boston area, I'm married to a woman with superb carpentry and wood working skills. When we hire contractors in that arena, we work with them together for a spell until they figure it out for themselves that she knows her stuff. Then they've happily worked with her alone despite the social norm that the guy is the one who should know all contracting stuff.
The one place that didn't work as well was in the design of our driveway with a Latino mason from Central America. It was clear that DW had a three dimensional image of how water should flow across and out of our property, but he still needed to hear it from me.
So I've seen the cultural expectations set aside and I've seen them not. That thought is merely to echo kaplods notion to remember that you're not looking for a fan club - you're only looking for one good man. I suspect he's out there for you with a little more difficult search.
New Journey: 11 years
In maintenance phase: 9 years and 6 months
Following Dr. Judith Beck via 3FC's Beck Diet Solution Forum: 9 years