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Old 04-26-2014, 04:13 PM   #9
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kaplods's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Wausau, WI
Posts: 13,383

S/C/G: SW:394/310/180

Height: 5'6"


This is a myth perpetuated, I believe, by uneducated people to feel better about being uneducated.

I've been told since I was 5 years old, that no one would date or marry me, if I didn't lose weight.

My aunt thought it was silly and a waste for girls to go to college, and told my parents it would be a waste of money to send me, especially to the private university I chose (Believe it or not, this was in 1984, not 1924).

When I went on to graduate school, to get my MA in psychology, the same aunt told my mother that I was making myself even more unmarriageable.

I did date, I did marry, and the family critics just found something else to criticise.

With internet dating (and world-wide access to every possible type of potential partner) it isn't at all difficult to find someone who is attracted to exactly the type of person you are, while also being exactly the type of person you're attracted to.

My husband doesn't have a college degree (despite very high intelligence). We met through a newspaper personal ad conncted to an online dating site.

In my ad/profile I included my actual weight, my goal weight, my previous weight range, my educational background and the fact that I was intending to pursue my PhD. I also listed all the traits I was looking for in a partner (I didn't care about money or education, but I was picky in my own way regarding moral, emotional, and religious values).

I got a lot more replies than I expected, but more importantly, I got the one response I was really looking for.

Hubby was a bit insecure at first, because he too had been subjected to cultural brainwashing that led him to believe that no woman would want a man who made less money or posessed less education than she.

He had a hard time believing that I could possibly interested in him (he still sometimes says he doesn't understand what I see in him, even though I've explained it many times, I think he just loves hearing it).

For me, money and formal education mean virtually nothing. I value education and a keen intellect, but I don't care where the education came from.

Hubby may not have more than a semester of college under his belt, but he's the only person I know who watches physics lessons for fun.

He's extremely funny and charismatic (even when we both weighed about 400 lb, he had many female admirers of all ages and sizes).

On paper, no one would put us together. But what's important to everyone else isn't important to us. We each are what the other wants most.

If I had stayed in the little town I was raised in, and had never ventured into the larger world irl and online, it might have been difficult (but not impossible) to find a suitable partner.
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