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Old 04-24-2014, 03:33 PM   #29
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 15

S/C/G: 245/225/120

Height: 5'4"


Originally Posted by kaplods View Post
If I'm understanding you correctly, you've dated one guy who had a inflexible fat fetish and was a jerk? So all guys who like heavier women are A-holes because this guy was?
No, but it definitely soured me on dating guys who would ONLY want a large woman. I kind of see them as caring more about their fetish than the woman's health, and I don't like that. There have been guys who have been attracted to me in the meantime who obviously like women of all sizes, and I was totally okay with that.

Originally Posted by kaplods View Post
My only point is that it doesn't matter in the least why this guy isn't interested, and it doesn't matter how he ended it. Don't waste your time worrying about what a random, anonymous stranger (and until you meet in person, he's a stranger) thinks.
I agree with this. I generally have a problem where I am overly hurt by any random person not liking me or rejecting me in any way, and that is something I need to work on.

Originally Posted by kaplods View Post
If you want to avoid as much rejection as possible, make your ads/profiles extremely specific both about who you are physically, intellectually, morally...... and who you're looking for. The more specific you are, the fewer incompatible responses you will get and the fewer unpleasant surprises.
To be honest, I think I've had just about enough of online dating. I never had to deal with rejection like this before, because I never approached guys, and the guys who approached me clearly saw all of me before doing so and liked what they saw from the beginning, so they obviously weren't going to reject me because of my looks. I will probably keep my OkCupid profile up, but for the purpose of just making friends, not seriously trying to find a significant other. I have made some good friends on there.

And really, the only reason I started online dating in the first place was because I had OCD and had a very hard time leaving the house. Now that I'm getting a little better and can actually leave the house more, I need to focus on that and really just getting myself back out into the world rather than expecting online dating to help me find someone.

You make a lot of good points about being upfront about looks, but really I feel a lot of those problems would be solved by just meeting guys in person rather than using online dating sites. Of course there would still be personality flaws to deal with, but there would be anyway even with online dating.

Originally Posted by kaplods View Post
You can get exactly what you ask for in a partner, but you have to ask and you have to reject the ones that aren't it - and if they reject you first, it's still good news because it closes a door on a Mr. Wrong, opening the door for Mr. Right that much sooner.
I very much agree with that. The fact that this guy didn't respond to me just showed that he isn't the one for me, and I should be grateful that I didn't waste several months with him before finding that out. In those months, I could've missed out on meeting my Mr. Right because I was preoccupied with a doomed relationship.
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