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Old 04-23-2014, 08:46 PM   #18
PatLib
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Crazygurl1211 View Post
I agree with this part.



But the thing is that he was NOT honest. He reassured me that he didn't care how much I weighed before I sent the pic, when this was clearly not the case. I was apprehensive about sending it, and he had to know that, and then he didn't even have the decency to respond once I sent it. So basically he lied just to get me to put myself out there, just so he could reject me because I didn't fit his ideal.

I understand that a certain level of attraction is needed, but it's the way he dealt with it that annoys me. After talking for a month and a half, I would have thought that at the very least, we were friends. And I don't know about him, but I would never treat a friend like that - ignoring them after they sent a pic that I had asked for, especially since I knew they were apprehensive about sending it. And it's disappointing that someone could just completely discard over a month of good conversations and growing feelings over something as superficial as appearance - especially weight which CAN BE changed. I mean, if he had bothered to ask, or continued talking to me, he would have found out that I am working damn hard to get down to my ideal weight and have already made significant progress. And that that size 6 hourglass figure he saw in my teenage pics on Facebook could very well be back before the end of this year!

If I had been talking to a guy for a significant length of time, and he sent me a pic that showed him to be more overweight, scrawny, etc. than I expected, I would be a little disappointed, not gonna lie. I'm human, after all. But I would never just stop talking to him because I didn't like his picture, especially if I was really into him before. I would still give him a chance and meet him - and who knows, he could want to improve his appearance as well, and we could even work out together! I haven't dated much, but I have dated a scrawny guy, talked to a few overweight guys online, etc. I personally prefer a really fit guy, but I would never write someone off because they didn't look a certain way. And I would absolutely NEVER tell them their appearance doesn't matter, have them send a pic, and then just never respond.

I don't get how being shallow has become so acceptable in modern society...people emphasizing "physical attraction" and finding someone who is their "type" is probably a major reason for all the failed marriages that are happening. You don't get a lasting relationship/marriage from marrying someone who's "hot" at the expense of everything else.
I agree, I meant that part of my comment as more generalized. I agree he should have been honest with you or had at least do the lame "it's not you it's me" thing so you are not left hanging.

I just dislike this whole idea that gets thrown around a lot "well he/she is a jerk if your weight bothers him/her."
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