Sorry for being late to the party! Welcome back, Melissa!
You should have no shame here as many many of us have done the same thing. When I was trying to come back from my downward spiral, reading your posts and blog helped me. You gave help and now you will get help. Isn't that was this community is about? We support each other. I know how discouraging it is to have to attack the same problem over and over. Please try to view it as a part of life and be easier on yourself. Treat yourself just like you would treat one of us.
Looking forward to seeing your post and reading your blog. I had moved it to my "check occasionally" list but now I am moving it back to my active blog list!
Persistence is more important than Perfection
Continuous effort - not strength or intelligence - is the key to unlocking our potential. - Winston Churchill