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Old 03-30-2014, 02:02 AM   #80
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1life2liv's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 9

S/C/G: 254/229/150

Height: 5'1''


So its only been a couple days and I was able to communicate much more effectively than reading a weeks worth of posts at once. I found myself feeling smaller today. I have actually been officially dieting since the new year and have lost 18 total as of my last weigh in. But today I felt like my stomach was smaller, and my rings were fitting especially loose on my fingers today. I know it could be in my head and I hope im not devastated when I get on the scale Wednesday.

Another thing..... reaching out, again. I struggle a lot with my self image. I always have. even when I had a "ROCKIN" body, I though I was fat. I find myself feeling encouragement and then following it with negative words. For example today, when I felt like my stomach was possibly smaller I caught myself next thinking "what ever. its all in youre head. when you've lost 100 pounds, then you can be proud." I have this about me and find it very hard to get passed. Also since I cant find appreciation and encouragement from my self, I am constantly seeking it from others. My life is consumed by what other people think of me. I just want to be me for me!!!!!!!!!!

Okie dokie folks lol. I hope I haven't shared too much. I have a lot bottled up and this is the first time I have found a place where there are people with the same struggles as me.

semperfiddle: thanks so much for your input!!! I'm glad to hear that you are having some luck with the appetite suppressant. it gives me hope!!!!!!!! Also its funny that you mention a protein drink. Actually today I was at work and notice my protein percent was low for the day so I stopped and got a muscle milk. Thanks again for the feedback!!

shr1: HI!!! Its goo to meet you! I just thought I would share that getting meds regulated is soooooo stressful to me!! I have been going to a med doctor 1-3 times per month, EVERY MONTH for over a year trying to regulate me meds. I finally just got the good news last week that I am regulated and they don't need to see me again for 6 months (as long as there are no changes, of course. ) I about fell out of my chair!! So my thoughts go out to you as you seem to be going through a little of the same thing.

IBelieveInMe2: I think youre right about me needing a little bit more calories. The only downfall I'm finding when I try to consume more is that I get too full and feel sick. I suffered from bulimia for over seven years and I still literally get sick if I over eat. BUT the good news is that my NEVER ENDING APPETITE is gone!!!!! YAY!!!

ohiofreespirit: BLAH!!!!!!!! Don't even mention homework lol. totally get the whole TRYING to do homework thing. it seems like I spend a ratio of 10 hours trying to 1 hour of succeeding to do homework. I am so burnt out with school right now. I figured it up and I have been in school for 19 years of my life. IM ONLY 24!!!!!!!! Don't get me wrong, I love my major and what im studying but my brain just does not like to focus or concentrate on school anymore. its like I open a book and my brain hides (: Any how my prayers go out to you in your journey through school!!!!

I think that's PLENTY from me tonight. As always good luck to everyone and stay awesome!!!!! xoxoxox
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