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Old 03-25-2014, 02:41 PM   #39
mainecyn
Battling Binge Eating
 
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Wyoming
Posts: 301

S/C/G: 228/179/150

Height: 5'5 1/2

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Quote:
Originally Posted by worththeeffort2 View Post
Still binge-free but this was a tough week. My car was hit by a school bus while I was stopped at a stop sign. She cut the corner too sharp and hit the front, driver's side of my car. At first, I didn't think she was going to stop but I guess the kids on the bus told her she hit someone. It stirred up my PTSD. Without my typical reaction of sugar-bingeing to numb my emotions, I had to ride the emotional wave. It still isn't past but I'm continuing to make smart food choices and exercising when the nervous stress mounts. Needless to say, I'm a bit twitchy right now but I'm determined to make it through this experience without falling back to old habits. Just one pound lost this week but a pound down is far better than a pound up!
Glad your ok. I've driven a school bus for 10 years, at times the corners can be difficult to navigate but if you have driven for a while you know what your bus can/will do. I bet you were scared. I was hit a year ago, in my bus, by a mini van that ran a stop sign. Even in my big bus I ended up with injuries I also have PTSD, I was hit in my car by a semi a couple years ago. Anytime a car or truck gets close to me I break out in a sweat, get upset stomach, mind and blood pressure races. Well, one thing is sure, any damage to your car should be covered by the school district insurance policy, thank goodness.

You are doing incredible with your eating, be proud. I know that any kind of accident can send a person into an emotional state. When I get nervous or obsessive, it can set me over the edge to where I start roaming for food. Any kind of comfort food, but in all honesty its usually chocolate.


I haven't posted much lately, I haven't had time to, and its starting to bother me-no input from others, no support system. You guys are the only ones I talk to about this part of my life.

I am still BINGE FREE, going strong. I have developed an obsession, so to speak, for Jazz apples. I had two yesterday. I still need to really watch the amount of fruit I eat. I sliced up two apples last night, my train of thought saying one isn't enough, and really they taste too good-sweet since I haven't had sugar. After eating the first one I was full. But, instead of stopping, I had that thought cross my mind, don't waste it, and since its sliced up it will turn brown and not be any good, so eat it. I should have STOPPED, but my taste buds were in charge. It is a slippery slope, the apples themselves were no real problem but it is the mindset that popped up, the same thing I used to do with foods I shouldn't eat, and that voice saying eat more when my stomach says I'm full. I am going to remind myself again that 1 is enough, and stop.

I haven't noticed any real difference weight wise, haven't checked. However, I am still having some progress on how underwear are fitting. Instead of being tighter on the hips (hip huggers) and curling down a little, they are "staying up" and in place. So, maybe some progress? I am afaird to step on the scale. Again, the reason behind the fear is what if I step on and the scale hasn't moved, or even worse, moved UP when I haven't binged in all this time?

Quote:
've been binge/compulsive overeating free for 2 weeks now or so. this is the longest in years so I am keeping fingers crossed.
Congratulations! 2 weeks is a long time and you should be proud of yourself for the accomplishment!

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i so admire u-nearly 60 days!that is amazing!its crazy how before i thought i was the only person in the world that went thru the viscous cycle of binge/gain/lose/binge/gain.... slower weight loss is always better in the long term as u have seen and ur doing great overall-i hope i can be as positive in the future weeks to try an also learn to enjoy treats without consuming everything in sight..!
We are here, or "out there" I had never ever met anyone else with this eating disorder in my entire life. I felt like I was the only one, that no one understood just how crippling this was, or understood that it wasn't just occasionally over eating. My eating disorder is just as serious and life affecting as any other. Its a compulsion, it is life changing, it has left me helpless, powerless, and destroyed my self esteem and health. No one understands the amount of food, the emotions, etc.
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