Just letting everyone know, yesterday was my first day back at the gym in about a week. I needed to take some time to myself, to have a break and recharge physically and mentally. I worked really hard yesterday, running further and for longer than I ever have, and I feel amazing. For the first time in a week, I was truly tired and I slept well, not even stress could keep me up! Thankyou to everyone who commented, I really appreciate it! I am not well and truly back on track, and I have signed up for a kickboxing class to try something new. I am lucky to have such an excellent support base here. As for my friend, she is still coming to the gym with me, but I have had a serious chat with her and her family. I told them in no uncertain terms that I am not responsible for her, I am responsible for myself, and she needs to get a grip and start holding herself responsible for her actions. My job is to provide encouragement, not to be wholey and soley responsible for her working out. If she doesnt want to come to the gym? Not my problem anymore. If she doesnt want to do pilates? Not my problem anymore. If she goes to the gym and doesnt try her hardest? Not my problem anymore. If she hurts herself because she refuses to do pilates properly? Not my problem anymore. I have come to realise she is a product of her environment; she is an only child, with no responsibilities, her parents make all her decisions and she lives by what they say. This has led her to become lazy and overweight, as she lacks the drive to keep herself in check. I have caught her cheating on our diet, she snacks the second there is food in the house, and she is lazy with exercise, but its not my problem anymore. And I said all of this to her and her family. So now I dont know what she will do. Her parents are guilting her into the gym but she hates it, yet she refuses to take control of what she wants. I have made so many suggestions about different exercises we can do together, our exercise regimen is centred around her work, yet she doesnt want to do it. She hates exercise but she wont eat a calorie controlled meal and refuses to stick to portion control. Not my problem anymore. I know I probably sound like a really bad friend as I write this, and I feel like one, but over the last 2 weeks, I have been struggling to keep myself motivated, why should I have to do the same for her? She is doing this all under sufferance. I guess from now on, I am going to do what I want; I have no issue with our new portion control thing, and I love going to the gym and trying new exercises, so I am just going to get on with it. I have worked too hard and have too much to lose by staying the way I am, and its time for me to be selfish. I will still support her, but I refuse to be responsible for her. I also went shopping with my boyfriend yesterday, and for the first time since I was in highschool, I bought a size 16 top. I am so happy with this result and it felt even better after smashing myself with an hour and a half of straight cardio
Thanks again everyone, I appreicate it so much!