Hi CinnamonApples, welcome to the forum. I read the anxiety in your post and I think you've come to a good place for support. There are a few of us here who are intuitive eaters, some of us have been doing it for a long time and others who are new. All the conflicting issues you have are very normal and typical with starting IE. My observation in your post is that you don't fully put your trust into the process yet, it's sort of like jumping off a cliff. You can't inch your way down but we all try to at first. Hey I know, it's scary!!!
There is an intuitive eating thread ongoing each month you can check in with:
And on the Chicks in Control forum there are threads that start with the the title IE which are all subjects covered through the lens of intuitive eating.
You'll see that you're not alone in feeling this way. I've gone through a similar process of feeling guilt over eating foods that I enjoy and wishing that I crave healthy foods. But I promise you, if you hand over a little trust to your body it will eventually start to treat you much better than you've been treating it. You will not bury yourself in a mountain of cake, and even if you do, your body will push through it. You just have to trust in yourself, go over that cliff so to speak.
Welcome and please stay, there is support here.