Lilian, it pains me to read your post and your solution. I am sorry you are struggling so much and I want you to succeed as we i'm sure we all do. I urge you to get a referral from your doctor to a dietician. A dietician should be able to help you work out a meal plan that is sustainable and doable in your domestic circumstances.
There are outpatient clinics usually where the hospital dieticians can work with the public. I used to work in an eating disorders clinic at a public hospital here in Australia and we had dieticians who'd see the patients. They were lovely women.
Does anyone else know about the difficulties you have at home. Eg your doctor or a social worker? There might be other forms of help available.