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Old 03-19-2014, 02:54 PM   #31
mainecyn
Battling Binge Eating
 
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Wyoming
Posts: 301

S/C/G: 228/179/150

Height: 5'5 1/2

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Quote:
u said u like to have fruit-have u ever tried eating frozen fruit?my trick is i hage either a weighed out portion of grapes or strawberries from the freezer-they take longer to eat so more satisfying and u dont eat as much!

hope u have a brilliant day!and believe in urselves!i believe in u!:-)
Great idea. I haven't tried frozen fruit since last summer. I used to put it in my water or just suck on frozen berries. I had forgotten all about it. I also think it would be a better alternative than the fresh fruit. Why, because if the berries are frozen I can only eat one or two at at time, suck on them till they thaw and fall apart. This really gives you the sweet fruit taste for a long long time. This way, I'd really only be able to eat a smaller amount instead of grabbing berries by the handful and eating them (like I do right now). I bet it would work, thanks.

Well, I did step on the scale this morning. Its been a LONG time since I weighed myself. Basically after the first week of being binge free I got so depressed, seeing the numbers still going up, I stopped. Well, if my scale is correct I have LOST. I don't know how accurate my scale is anymore, compared to the drs, but after my shower this morning I got on the scale and it read BELOW 180. The scale read 175/7 something like that. Either way, regardless if my scale isn't as accurate as the dr's, it still registers a LOSS. Because, when I weighed myself before I was able to read over 185 when I looked.

Yeah, my husband loves me, is attracted to me no matter what. I often think back to when we were first together and how big I was. I used to get funny looks when we first dated because he was so "small and thin". I can even remember a co-worker who knew both of us tell me "You, you and skinny Brian?" She wasn't trying to be mean, but in all honesty we were a very odd couple if you went on looks. He was slim and very athletic. I was 248 lbs, slow and not active.

Anyway, I can remember when I lost my weight the first time and got down to the 150's a comment my husband made trying to give me a compliment, he said "Well I definitely traded up, everyone is going to wonder how a 50 year old man ended up with such a young sexy wife". He used to really really try years ago to make me more confident, would buy me books about self esteem etc. Brian never ever brought up the subject of my weight and never really noticed the looks from family and friends. When we first dated I met his siblings, at different times. His brother was polite, but you could tell how shocked he was when Brian brought me home to met him, his sisters as well. Thankfully for me, my husband judged me by more than my looks.

Well, working late again tonight, till 6. I have leftovers in the fridge for everyone to eat for dinner. I am not bothering to cook.

Daughter is still home from school today, sick.

I got off work for lunch, ran to the library to drop off items and then to the mall. I don't' shop often but I had received my "reward" cards from the department store here in town and decided to treat myself to a reward of my own. I used to really look forward to food as a reward, need to find something else. I treated myself to a new perfume, mascara, foundation, and didn't feel guilty about spending the money on myself for a change. I do have to admit I question if rewarding myself for not binge eating is a good idea? I guess its the entire "reward" aspect I might be having trouble with, regardless of which behavior I am rewarding.

I seem to really ramble lately, I don't post on any other threads consistently. This thread seems to be a daily diary of sorts. I have learned these past couple of months that "getting it all out" seems to help me. If I keep all these thoughts, feelings, etc. inside the binge eating happens.

Quote:
just learnt to ignore his silly comments now and just find myself something to do as a distraction whereas as b4 i would just raid the cupboards!
You are doing so well. You are handling the stress. Its very simple to retreat to the cupboards to sooth feelings or handle stress, your "retraining" yourself just like I am. Gaining or losing weight really directly affects your relationship. I am glad you are secure in how BF feels, but promise if he does say anything negative etc ,or hurts your feelings, you stand up for yourself.
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