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Old 03-19-2014, 11:21 AM   #166
on the wagon
onebyone's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,778

S/C/G: 291/265/150

Height: 5' 6"

Angry double drat.


So annoyed with everything today. Especially with how yesterday turned out. MORE FOOD PUSHERS: strangers and friends alike. I was feeling down and frustrated after the St Patrick's Day events and then I was like a sitting duck for wanting some comfort and relief and ease. To avoid all food pushers I opted to stay in today, instead of go to my studio. And then I saw a facebook post from a friend with an image of her submission to the printmaking show I had decided I couldn't do and now, of course, I feel sad I am blowing off my own work/interests/goals and now I want to submit to it. Since DH now has the car, this will require me to go to the studio tonight if I want to enter a print into the show.

*I am sighing deeply here*

Yesterday I intended to visit my mom, see where we are at with the transition from reg. underwear to disposable ones *sigh* which require me to remove all reg underwear from her room and since I was to do this I also went to see her and pick up her laundry. I was going to go in the morning but had to stop by the ceramic room to see if my missing glaze materials were there, cause if they were then I didn't have to look for them in my studio, which is close to where my mom lives. They weren't there, but my friends were. So we started talking and man, I am upset. I have been unwilling and unable to voice my feelings about my mother's situation to anyone. I reluctantly did so to my friends. It unleashed a torrent of anger ranging from the MIL to the food pushing to the marrying to the long term care to my sister to my inability to make anything or just simply get and STAY at work. Just really frustrated. My friends and I had plans to meet at noon as we were going to the Persian Bazaars in town--New Years celebrations for the Persian community and one of my pottery friends is Persian so 4 of us were going with her as our guide. I had asked her in advance if there would be food (so I could prepare) she said no and OMG so not true! COOKIES EVERYWHERE all new and unusual and everyone handing out free samples (Billblueeyes you would have DIED at the sheer quantity and variety of treenuts on offer--also free sampled at every booth) and offering tastes and OMG I said no no no no no and then, at yet another booth, while all my friends took one they said to me "you might as well" and then the guy pushing the clover-leaf shaped pistacho nut topped miniature creation said "it's New Year's! Why not!?" and so I ate it. And then I just ate whatever everyone was eating and then I bought cookies and then I ate some at home and this morning the scale is up 3.3lbs.
Eh voila!
What took me, oh a month or so to drop, was back overnight.
Whoosh in the wrong direction FOR WHAT?
So I am avoiding people today. I have a foodplan. My sister wants to skype or call or something.
I am avoiding her.
I already got a call from the home where my mom lives in response to a note I left to the staff yesterday over my confusion as to why her clothes are sitting out in a laundry basket with a note in them?(Answer: she has no idea--someone must have washed her clothes even though they know I do that and had just done that--and she needs more hangers. Hello? She needs less clothes and now I have to re-order/remove stuff from her dresser and label the drawers, not for my mom, but for the support staff who help dress her. Still. I really really really want my mom to stay there and NOT go to a long term care place. So I will comply and be compliant.)
Anyway, an on plan day is planned for today. Plus plenty of water and I did track the food as best I could from yesterday just this morning and it looks like I was only 400calories over budget so not a disaster unless I compound it today. DH was supposed to take those cookies to work but they are here. I'm shoving them in the freezer.

Ok I feel better, Thanks for letting me vent.

PS I also listen to Simply the Best by Grant Boddington 2x a day. It's only 10 minutes, I love his Australian accent, and I swear it is really helping reprogram the subconcsious saboteur that lurks within. I recommend it.
Going to 150 5lbs at a time

Last edited by onebyone; 03-19-2014 at 11:34 AM.
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