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Old 03-18-2014, 11:10 AM   #38
Wannabeskinny
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Location: New York, NY
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Originally Posted by GlamourGirl827 View Post
Personally, I do not feel good or at peace about giving in to that candy bar daily, or even weekly. It leaves me feeling like a spoiled child that must have what it wants and now. The same way I don't allow myself to stay up late every night watching tv, or how I force myself to workout on days I'd rather not, or how I have to clean when I've rather be playing online or reading a book! lol I'm not perfect, and I don't always do what I'm supposed to, and sometimes I do let myself stay up late to watch a good show...but I wouldn't feel good, strong, disciplined, and responsible if I just allowed myself to do as I feel all the time.
I guess I see IE as a sense of internal anarchy. I did try it, but it felt like the way a child would feed themselves if there were no mother. Sometimes my kids will choose an apple, but more often they want to candy bar. I think most adults, even thin, fit, healthy ones will tell you, that candy bar tastes great! All that sugar is wonderful and evolutionarily speaking, we crave sugar and fat. Those valuable calories, when we needed to hunt our food and might not eat daily. But food is everywhere now, and I believe the IE is still being driven by those evolutionary adaptations. For me, I will never be at peace fat. I've been fit and healthy, before this pregnancy. It was the most amazing feeling. I loved my body. I think eating a candy bar when I want it, is not worth staying fat for me. However, never having candy again might make me crazy, so never putting junk in my body again is not worth feeling crazy...I suppose its a gentle balance, and you have to decide what is the right point between being able to eat what you want when you want it and being ok with your weight.

I will weigh in on fear of hunger on the other thread that was started.
It's interesting how one method can make someone feel so good and make another person feel so horrible all at the same time. It has the complete opposite effect on me, I finally feel like I'm treating myself like an adult and allowing myself to choose the foods that I want to eat. DIETS make me feel like a child, and a failure. They make me give up all control and instruct me on when to eat, how to eat, and what to eat. They also banish foods I like. Some people can function with this sort of abuse, I cannot and here I thought I was the failure. Statistics show that diets don't work (don't ask me for proof of that, I don't care to research it). Even here it's easy to, how many posts do we see daily from people who lost weight on a restrictive diet and then something happened and they gained it back? "I used to be so good, and now I'm so bad!" Going up and down in weight over the years is the proof that diets don't work.

This total anarchy you mentioned, I finally realize now that I'm much more mentally and emotionally at peace. I don't need to be controlled by some societal criteria on how to lose weight, I don't need to be judged by myself or others on what i eat. I need food for only 2 things. And everything I eat must meet these 2 criteria:

- nourishment
- pleasure

When both of these needs are met I feel great. I do not need to eat salads and steamed veggies to feel self righteous, responsible, adult, or in control. I need to eat them before they are delicious and they make me feel energized. By the same token, eating pancakes does not have to make me feel weak, lethargic, irresponsible, childish, or out of control. Pancakes are just food, they have no power to lessen my character or make me a bad person.

The topic of this thread is on a turnaround for me. I'm not feeling that sense of sadness anymore. And I don't miss that Sunday night rush of guilt for my weekly sins that needs to be punished and put right on Monday morning.
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“If you try to lose weight by shaming, depriving and fearing yourself, you will end up shamed, deprived, and afraid.” Geneen Roth

Last edited by Wannabeskinny : 03-18-2014 at 11:12 AM.
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