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Old 03-15-2014, 07:48 PM   #57
MsGracie
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Originally Posted by Annik View Post
Thanks everyone for the feedback! I feel great!

When I saw the photos side by side, I was astonished to see myself. Despite the fact that I have lost a tremendous amount of weight, I don't feel 'different' so much as I feel I have recovered my 'normal'. While I was looking at them, I thought of how Michelangelo spoke of his sculpting work. Of his sculptures, he maintained they weren't his creations but instead figures he helped liberate from inside the marble. That's kind of how I feel and I realised that when I saw the pics.



Wow Amber there's so much you say here to which I can relate.

This is not my first weight loss in life. The last time was about 15 years ago when I lost 55 pounds. Slowly the weight crept back on and like you would seem to happen without me really noticing until it was an astonishing amount. And then it just kept going up. And I felt helpless.

At some point I became afraid to try to lose weight again because every time I semi succeeded, I would eventually gain back all I had lost plus more. I had basically given up on trying to lose weight and had resolved to 'just love who I was' when my brother urged/begged/shamed me to try ideal protein (it was not a pleasant conversation). He spoke a lot about my family's concern for my health.

When I found out ideal protein was in my town, I felt obliged to try.

For the first time ever I really think I have found something that works. This has been the easiest "diet " I have ever tried. Once I learned about the principle of ketosis, I understood why was so vitally important to honor the protocols.

I have mentally had a divorce with certain kinds of foods now. I will never go back to sugar. Carbs will always be a danger zone for me... I will avoid any that I know are for me a slippery slope (popcorn).

During this journey I'm so glad to have found three fat chicks on the diet. I've really learned a lot from the ideas that many people share here.

One of the principles that I have now adopted is to look at myself as having a chronic condition called morbid obesity (this comes from Lisa) that I must constantly be vigilant at to properly manage. In other words I no longer look at a number on the scale as destination but a way of life.

I feel the way you do about certain social situations that you do and now chose to decline invitations to places/activities/people where I do not feel confident that I will to meet the challenge. Psychic hygiene? My long-term health is just too important to me. I can't take any of what I have achieved for granted.

I also now think that at 287 I suffered from kind of body dysmorphia -- the opposite kind that anorexics suffer. What while they see themselves as "too fat "
I protectively chose not to really see myself because I couldn't bear to see how large I had become.

I remember having that first photograph taken ( it was at a funeral). I remember thinking "I'm so glad I have nice clothes to wear because even though I am a bigger woman still look really nice.' Well I did look 'nice' but now I see that I definitely did not look healthy. My body oddly had a a misshapen look to it. My face looks so puffy. I had lots of trouble with swollen ankles. I needed a lap belt extender when I flew in a plane.

I think I was in a form of denial just because I felt that the achieving a +100 pound weight-loss had really become an impossibility for me. And there was the fear that if I lost I would gain it all back plus more. How high could I go? Obviously people have managed to go much higher than I was.

Now I faithfully weigh myself everyday. I have a Withings scale that has an app on my iPhone. I check in with that graph every single day.

And in terms of the carbs and sugars? I no longer look at my nutrition as a lifetime of deprivation or denial. I look at ip and ketogenic nutrition as a form of liberation -- as a way to keep hold of my freedom.

I have a friend who's currently in a rehab center for alcoholism. They counsel him to focus on avoiding that first sip and instead of dwelling on how will he get through his life without booze. It is a smaller step then. Just no first sip.

That makes so much sense to me. No first 'bad bite' = no slippery slope.

I sure hope I can do this. I can say that I have never felt stronger or more sure that I have found a way to keep moving forward.

But I'm not taking anything for granted

Sending love,
Annik
This is incredible. I think it will touch everyone. I am new here and feel it is such a wonderful place with such awesome people! Thank you for posting.
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