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Old 03-15-2014, 06:49 PM   #53
Annik
Started IP May 17, 2013
 
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Join Date: May 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 676

S/C/G: 287/179/150

Height: 5'7.5"

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Thanks everyone for the feedback! I feel great!

When I saw the photos side by side, I was astonished to see myself. Despite the fact that I have lost a tremendous amount of weight, I don't feel 'different' so much as I feel I have recovered my 'normal'. While I was looking at them, I thought of how Michelangelo spoke of his sculpting work. Of his sculptures, he maintained they weren't his creations but instead figures he helped liberate from inside the marble. That's kind of how I feel and I realised that when I saw the pics.

Quote:
Originally Posted by AmberLS View Post
I know everyone says don't weigh daily, but surprisingly its more often a motivator more than anything. I don't have unreal expectations, I'm not surprised to not go down from day to day, I am surprised from morning to morning if I go up but it makes me look harder and make sure I didn't slip up because accidents happen. I have always been one to be careful because I can gain weight so quickly and for me it happens at an even pace so I can put on 20-30lbs and still wear the same clothes cause I gain in my boobs, thighs, stomach, calves, arms, etc... it nice sometimes to carry weight well, but it's also a pain because before you know it your up a bunch. In one year, about 6 years ago I went from 140lbs (where I'd been since high school) to 240, I mean I noticed, but not really until about 180, then I was like oh crap, and before you new it I was 220, and so on. I got to 298lbs. I've never been a dieter, this is my first diet, I've always been an exerciser and an all things in moderation. I lost 50lbs and there I sat at 250, could never budge either way, met with a nutritionist for 2 years, my doctor wasn't sure, I logged food I quit drinking anything but water and tea 3 year ago. Now because of a back problem exercise isn't an option well high impact aerobic exercise and weight lifting. So I come to find IP, it's almost the perfect diet for me because I love vegetables and I don't mind most of the restrictions. I'm glad I found it and I'm glad it's working and I know that it's going to continue to work as long as I continue to stay OP. But I am sure I will continue to weigh myself about 3 times a week because I won't allow myself to go up like that again without noticing, and I know it may be hard to believe that I had no idea how big I was getting, but it happened so quickly with such big increments, I don't know how a person gains a hundred lbs in a year, my doctor couldn't find any medical reasons, but as we all know once you start gaining it's hard to derail the train.

As for my event tonight, I'm not going. The temptation is to much to have a drink. I have been able to not drink plenty of times, I have resisted many urges for various things, I have turned down friends for happy hour and lunches out, and I have started going out for lunch and out to the movies and been capable of resisting, but I know myself too well and the one thing that sounds nicer than anything in this time of stress is a nice relaxing glass of wine or mixed drink. I want to stay OP I have a goal to reach for a trip so I will just avoid the situation all together
Wow Amber there's so much you say here to which I can relate.

This is not my first weight loss in life. The last time was about 15 years ago when I lost 55 pounds. Slowly the weight crept back on and like you would seem to happen without me really noticing until it was an astonishing amount. And then it just kept going up. And I felt helpless.

At some point I became afraid to try to lose weight again because every time I semi succeeded, I would eventually gain back all I had lost plus more. I had basically given up on trying to lose weight and had resolved to 'just love who I was' when my brother urged/begged/shamed me to try ideal protein (it was not a pleasant conversation). He spoke a lot about my family's concern for my health.

When I found out ideal protein was in my town, I felt obliged to try.

For the first time ever I really think I have found something that works. This has been the easiest "diet " I have ever tried. Once I learned about the principle of ketosis, I understood why was so vitally important to honor the protocols.

I have mentally had a divorce with certain kinds of foods now. I will never go back to sugar. Carbs will always be a danger zone for me... I will avoid any that I know are for me a slippery slope (popcorn).

During this journey I'm so glad to have found three fat chicks on the diet. I've really learned a lot from the ideas that many people share here.

One of the principles that I have now adopted is to look at myself as having a chronic condition called morbid obesity (this comes from Lisa) that I must constantly be vigilant at to properly manage. In other words I no longer look at a number on the scale as destination but a way of life.

I feel the way you do about certain social situations that you do and now chose to decline invitations to places/activities/people where I do not feel confident that I will to meet the challenge. Psychic hygiene? My long-term health is just too important to me. I can't take any of what I have achieved for granted.

I also now think that at 287 I suffered from kind of body dysmorphia -- the opposite kind that anorexics suffer. What while they see themselves as "too fat "
I protectively chose not to really see myself because I couldn't bear to see how large I had become.

I remember having that first photograph taken ( it was at a funeral). I remember thinking "I'm so glad I have nice clothes to wear because even though I am a bigger woman still look really nice.' Well I did look 'nice' but now I see that I definitely did not look healthy. My body oddly had a a misshapen look to it. My face looks so puffy. I had lots of trouble with swollen ankles. I needed a lap belt extender when I flew in a plane.

I think I was in a form of denial just because I felt that the achieving a +100 pound weight-loss had really become an impossibility for me. And there was the fear that if I lost I would gain it all back plus more. How high could I go? Obviously people have managed to go much higher than I was.

Now I faithfully weigh myself everyday. I have a Withings scale that has an app on my iPhone. I check in with that graph every single day.

And in terms of the carbs and sugars? I no longer look at my nutrition as a lifetime of deprivation or denial. I look at ip and ketogenic nutrition as a form of liberation -- as a way to keep hold of my freedom.

I have a friend who's currently in a rehab center for alcoholism. They counsel him to focus on avoiding that first sip and instead of dwelling on how will he get through his life without booze. It is a smaller step then. Just no first sip.

That makes so much sense to me. No first 'bad bite' = no slippery slope.

I sure hope I can do this. I can say that I have never felt stronger or more sure that I have found a way to keep moving forward.

But I'm not taking anything for granted

Sending love,
Annik
__________________



w1: 11 lbs; w2: 4 lbs; w3: 3.6 lbs; w4: 5 lbs; w5: 5 lbs;w6: 2.4 lbs; w7: 1.4lbs; w8: 6lbs ; w9: 1lb w10: 4.6 lbs w11: 0lbs w12: 5 lbs; w13: 2 lbs w14: 4 lbs ; w15: no w.i.; w16: 11.5 lbs ; w17: 1 lb; w18: 2.5 lbs; w19: 2 lbs; w20: .5; w21: no w.i.; w22: 9 lbs; w23: 3.5 lbs ...

No longer morbidly obese! Total loss now = 108 lbs. With thanks to the Ideal Protein Diet (a form of ketogenic nutrition)!

Low carb life is my liberation!

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