Originally Posted by schenectady
Yesterday, my life with IP came to a grinding and frantic stop! Months and months of being 100% IP changed in a flash. My life has been very, very stressful lately and mentally, I had a tantrum. I think normally I would have had mechanisms in place to deal with it all, but that framework of logically working things out is gone for the moment.
I think the key to it all is the moving process. We have sold our family home and I am sorting and packing 25 years of children and life. Emotionally, that is both sweet and bittersweet.
In the meanwhile, we are moving to a rented house half the size of our current home, half an hour away. Nothing familiar, stuck in traffic going back and forth, handling new utilities, trying to fit our belongings in somehow.
The rental house is needed as we are blessedly building our own new home, 1.5 hours away in the mountains. Builder, architect, design review committee, construction loans...
So I sat down for a minute and everything in the kitchen disappeared down my mouth in a frantic breakdown. I knew what I was doing and it just rolled over me. Fortunately there is not much food left in the house so it was limited to candy intended for our granddaughter's birthday Saturday, leftover chips, beef jerky.
Funny, because none of those things are things I normally like to eat or trigger foods. It was like a 20 minute binge after which I felt very ill, of course. Oddly, I knew when it was over, it was over. I know I am back on IP stronger than before. Looking bad, it was sad and funny because if anyone had been watching, it would have been pathetic and manic, two characteristics not common with me!
My reason for posting this is not because I am proud or even because I understand what happened. I am not proud and I do not know what it was except maybe a little bit of a breakdown? What happened next was to figure out how to deal with it.
I did not need to throw out any tempting foods - there are none left and I am not feeling tempted. I packed up my purse and headed out to a session making fused glass bowls. Three hours of creativity reset my compass and my brain.
So what is the lesson I learned? Not sure, I am still working on it. I do know that what I am thinking is that I know I dealt with a stressful situation by resorting to old habits and coping. I did not take a moment to think how better to deal with it - had I gone to the studio and made glass bowls earlier, I think it would have passed.
I am not beating myself up, just reworking my thinking how to handle things better when super over stressed. Made my IP compliant breakfast shake knowing that a big break is not a reason to keep going in that direction.