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Old 03-10-2014, 12:34 PM   #15
Earthling's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 71

S/C/G: 223/146/140

Height: 5'2"


I don't have a DH but my closest friend did say to me once "You were more fun before you lost the weight." I imagine it invokes similar turmoil.
I just need to say that I very respectfully don't agree with some of the opinions. Particularly differentiating between "old" you and "new" you. Just don't do it. It's senseless. It will make you second guess your decision to become healthy and that's absolutely bonkers.
You are you.
You always were you. You were not a different person.
Losing weight and getting healthier perhaps simply makes you feel like more like "you."
Using "old" you and "new" you is simply a way shunning something about yourself that you didn't like. But you have to love it.
I know this about myself now too.
Without knowing the private context of the conversation between you an your husband, are you sure he meant it? I mean TRULY meant. Not just being malicious or impulsive. Him saying that might have been a symptom of a larger issue that has nothing to do with your weight, or time, or priorities, or eating schedule.
These things DO NOT a loving relationship make or break. So if, over time, he ultimately is willing to break something over this then perhaps you should let him.
I didn't let that comment from my friend ruin anything though. In fact, I quietly took some time to think about what it meant. And what it meant was this... nothing. To me.
It was important that she had said it, though, because at the same time I was struggling with identity issues over "old" me and "new" me. And that's when I realized how positively destructive that mindset is and how much it doesn't make sense anyway.
Its just not worth it and everybody says things they don't mean. Yet, it might have been a different story if this was a recurring theme in our friendship.

Whatever happens, just remember that your opinion of yourself is the one that counts. Not anyone else's. Not even someone's that you love. And also that people change. Not into some new. Just into who they always were inside their soul but didn't have the experience to get there. Now you have it. So keep going.
You'll figure out how to balance anything that requires balancing as you go.
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