IBelieveInMe2: thank you! you are so sweet! It's nice to find somewhere to be myself and not feel judged. It's nice to know that somewhere, someone else understands and is going through something similar.
My fear of exercise is because my father had a major heart attack when I was 4. I was the one that had to call the ambulance, while mum put him in the recovery position. He wasn't overweight, was incredibly fit and for his job he had to carry a 60kg pack over mountains. It was a shock. The doctors couldn't explain it, but he came to believe that exercise could kill you & always pointed out to me the soccer players that collapsed on the field during a game etc. I grew up thinking exercise was bad, which was never a problem as I ate really healthily, until my chronic fatigue/meds. Now I have to undo it all. I've had therapy and logically I understand it isn't true, but as soon as I start feeling dizzy or out of breath, I remember dad having the same feelings during his heart attack.
Sorry for the long post.