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Old 03-04-2014, 09:28 AM   #12
Wannabeskinny
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: New York, NY
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Originally Posted by miniapplecocoa View Post
Gasp, wannabe! Just yesterday I posted gripping and complaining about "dieting." And just how awful I felt HAVING to do it.

Your reply was very helpful to me. While I have to reduce my weight drastically because of health, I really aspire to be IE. I agree that focusing on dieting feels painful and like a waste of my time. While I may not ever get to the insurance weight numbers, my numbers will come down if I focus on getting them down. But, your input is/was vital for a person like me right now. I don't intend to do all this hoop jumping in the future. So, I must start now with some of those IE behaviors. I want to hear about what your doing.

I have a "High Raw" vegan daughter that is not at all cool with all the "dieting" behaviors. She eats what she wants, when she wants, til she is full and does not eat anything that she finds unenjoyable for whatever reasons. She is finely tuned in listening to her body for even the slightest deficiency in nutrients. She has trained her mind and her body for health. And is quite a good vegan chef/salad maker. She also has lost more than 150lbs doing just those things and being more active than I could ever even want to be. Bikes up to 20 miles etc etc. The whole process took 5 years/ongoing. BUT, LOSING WEIGHT WAS NEVER HER GOAL.

So, my point is that even tho some of our starting goals might be different I think even some "dieters" aspire to be where you are. And can relate, understand and support where you are. They may not be there yet. But its important to keep talking about it.

I hope I have been helpful to you in some way. You've been more helpful to me than you know.
I'm so glad I was helpful to you and thank you for reaching out to me. It must be wonderful to have a daughter that you can aspire to, I admire very much when people set their priorities straight and put themselves at the top, and it's humbling to know that such a young person has saved herself from some of the grief we've subjected ourself to.

I think secretly everyone wants to wind up doing IE, after they've lost weight. Because the philosophy of IE are:
- eat whatever you like
- eat when you're hungry
- stop eating when you're full
- accept yourself the way you are now

To many people this only happens after they cross the finish line. To me, I'm skipping the race altogether and starting at the finish line. Does anyone really strive to berate themselves for eating foods they love? Does anyone grow up and wish to be a life-long calorie counter? Some people are content to do so but I doubt many would choose to do so if they could only feel safe around food.

I didn't come to IE on a whim. It's been building up for a long time and it all started with one question "why are we so afraid to be hungry?" Everywhere I looked everyone was talking about how to get rid of hunger, how to fool hunger, how to keep hunger at bay and over time I realized that hunger is not my enemy and suddenly realized I was caught up in the wrong fight. I cringe when I hear that someone's diet has made their hunger go away... why would anyone try to make their hunger go away when it's one of our base primal instincts? Anyway, I finally feel like I'm focusing on the right things. Thanks again for your very kind words.
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"Binging is a descent into a world where every restriction... is cut loose. At its core is a feeling of deprivation.. a feeling you can never get enough. Binges do not signify a lack of willpower or inability to care for yourself. On the contrary, binges are a urgent attempt to care for yourself when you feel uncared for. They are the voice of survival. Binges are the mark of the self that says, 'I am tired of feeling deprived, of being told I am wrong, that I am bad." - Geneen Roth
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