I don't have the specific answer you need, but I can completely relate, because I had the same experience. I was in OA a few years ago, had a sponsor, tried the different meal plans (including Grey Sheet), and the magic never quite happened. I do think it was helpful, though.
Just like Mrs Snark said, what finally worked (until I reverted to my old unhealthy ways) was tweaking different plans that "kind of" fit, but not quite. For me, it was either "on" or "off" a diet, but no clue how to eat normally - whatever that was. My goal was to stop compulsive overeating AND compulsive dieting, and remove the triggers that led me to do both.
For the compulsive overeating part, that meant removing simple carbs. For the compulsive dieting part, that meant no obsessive measuring, counting, etc. An addict is an addict, and I didn't want to be addicted to dieting any more than I wanted to be addicted to food. Where's the freedom in that?
Basically, I ended up with a Beachy 301: I kind of followed the South Beach phase 1-2 foods (no processed stuff, no sugary stuff, some grains but mostly starchy veggies). I ate 3 meals a day, 1 snack if I needed it, nothing in between. At meal time, I ate South Beach style with as much on a plate as I needed to feel satisfied - but not stuffed - till the next meal. But no second helpings.
That was a great plan for me, and it didn't obsess over anything, yet still removed my triggers. I easily lost about 30 pounds in just a few months and never once felt like I was dieting.
Why am I fat now, you ask? Because I listened to "friends" urge me to treat myself, and fell off the wagon HARD. I've been trying to climb back on since, and now I'm ready again.
Good luck to you! I know you can do this.