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Old 02-23-2014, 04:26 PM   #50
mainecyn
Battling Binge Eating
 
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Wyoming
Posts: 301

S/C/G: 228/179/150

Height: 5'5 1/2

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Quote:
Originally Posted by pixelllate View Post
Mainecyn - if the benefiber doesn't work for you (that stuff in the long run wrecked havoc on me!) I would REALLY look into that Gutsense site - and try incorporating more fat, less fibrous veggies, things that won't stress out your system and more leisurely type exercise. I know that it seems to go against every pooing/diet rule out there, but he really laid it out as to why, and when I tried all of his tips FINALLY my pooing improved. That really helped me out!
I was wondering about the benefiber myself. The dr seems to really, really, push fiber. She had wanted to have me eat benefiber bars, which are full of sugar, carbs, and yes some fiber, and take pill form fiber. I had taken pill form fiber tablets years ago and they always caught in my throat, swelling as I drank water, making me sore and uncomfortable. This dr swears that fiber is the answer to everything, including firm but passable stool? Diet wise, when not binge eating, I have always followed a lc way of eating, proteins (eggs, meat and poultry etc), salads with multiple types of lettuces and spinach, berries, some dairy etc. I told the dr I was concerned at the idea of taking the fiber and the stool softener, thinking don't they defeat the purpose of each other>? She did say to lay off the softener as time went by and I had to stop taking it this past week. I have seen some changes, but my system is still messed up. I ended up having to take Imodium yesterday and day before for just the opposite reason.

I will take a look online and check into what your suggesting, thank you.

Quote:
with myself-id managed 11days with no binge but its like i just gave up on friday night and i ate so much junk for no reason-then i decided right back to it on saturday but then gave up again by the nightime and spent last night binge eatin again-its now sunday morning and im trying to be positive and just start afresh-all the weight i lost over the 11 binge free days has now been gained again and more :-( why on earth do i do it to myself?

Little Miss, I can relate to what you are saying. I have had 4 or 5 months where I would swear I would "do it this time" and not binge. I could go a few days and then for no reason I would start with one thing, then move on to something else-usly starting with just a small taste at first. I'd tell myself this time I could eat whatever it was I was craving and control my binge feeling. Sort of the idea that a little would make it better. Well, I'd do that, generally starting with eating something not so bad, berries, etc. Then I would move onto to something else, and it just continued and spiraled out of control. After I'd start the binge I didn't care about anything else. Until it was over, then the lowest emotions would come out. I wont do it again, I will have more control this time, I wont be controlled by food, I am not helpless. I'd go to sleep that night swearing the next day I would start fresh. Well the next day (usually a weekend) I tell myself well I've already messed up, or I will just be good later in the week and try to keep from over eating tomorrow.

There is always a tomorrow for me, I will do better then. I have gained 10 pounds over a weekend and then spent 4-6 weeks trying to drop that binge weight, only to gain a couple more because I am frustrated that the weight isn't coming off. It is a horrible cycle a hurtful cycle. I agree also that it isn't helpful or fair to have someone else in the house that can eat whatever they want, and also not binge. My husband is that for me, naturally thin, and no food issues, he is right this minute in the bedroom at the computer eating a slice of cake, chocolate frosting, crumbled oreos, and sliced strawberries. I'm sitting in the living room. No one else in my household faces what I face.

I noticed at times, night usually, that I would eat because my spouse was eating. Every single night my husband opens his "drawer" where he stashes his candy. He will sit in bed watching tv and peel peanut butter cups, or eat little debbie snacks etc. I would feel the frustrating building, my mouth watering, and the binge wanting to start. I would start by grabbing whatever I had that I could eat, nuts, cheese, etc. I would sit in bed and eat an entire bag of almonds.

If I was in binge mode while my husband was eating all this stuff I would wait for him to use the restroom, open his drawer and pick out what i think he wouldn't notice..and I would stuff my face as soon as he left the room. I would often tell him maybe he would like to take his bath (my husband has an obsession with baths, loves to read in the tube). While my husband safely in the tub I would reach for the multiple items I have hidden, under the bed, behind the mattresses, in my drawer, in the bottom of the pantry, behind the laundry detergent...you name it. I would eat at unbelievable speed. At the time it was better than any other feeling in the world and all I wanted was to be alone with my food, and my binge. I would watch the door, go as far as looking under it to see if I could tell he was still in the tub.

It is embarrassing but at times I do honestly remember saying that I could do with without anyone or anything else, that I would give anything just to eat whatever i want, how much I want, and nothing else mattered. I know I have had the thoughts, and I have worked to be alone at times to be alone and binge, excuses etc. I have thought about it over and over and while I felt guilty, its true. As my binge eating got even faster and was going every day I also remember when it started to feel bad, the high wasn't coming and I remember thinking then that I WOULD BE ALONE IF I COULDN'T STOP BINGE EATING. The binge eating makes me isolate myself, affects my relationship because after binging and gaining I don't want to be intimate with my husband. I become hostile, secretive, and depressed. Then, I binge again trying to make it go away.

You are not alone, everyone here is suffering from this and we understand. I am still going hour by hour trying not to let the binge eating over come me. I am right now listening to my head tell me, a snack sounds good go check out the fridge, while the rest of me is saying I'm not even hungry, why do it? That voice is there, like someone poking me, nudging me, telling me to go to the fridge and just get a snack..I know if I do right now I will then eat something else and probably start grazing until I'm in frantic mode and binge.

I am trying so hard to break the reaction..that voice or feeling pops up, i listen, I follow the command to go in search of food. I am trying to stop that signal and teach myself to "stop and think". Is my body actually hungry, is my stomach really wanting food, or is it just that voice saying your alone, no one would know, it would feel great.

I hate hearing that voice. Its my "prebinge" voice. I know it well. I am at a crossroads right now. This is when I will normally try to negotiate with that voice and go find a "healthy" snack. Well, that's a trap because I have never ever not gone back for something else after I listen to that voice.
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