I've been watching/following the show with great interest for a variety of reasons.
I understand, it's a TV show.
That aside, I do have a few thoughts. Not intended to make anyone angry or sad. Just some things I have observed. Take it for what you will, other thoughts and comments welcome! Maybe it will help some one else who might stumble in here looking for help or advice!
These are very dysfunctional co-dependent relationships. Much like alcoholic or drug relationships. The patient and the family want them to lose, quit drinking, drugging yet no one does the right thing.
No one ever says NO.
If the obese person is no longer mobile, can't get out of bed, why does the caregiver keep feeding them bad food in large portions? It's not like they can get out of bed and do you physical harm. But they yell, and whine and moan and groan. It's the whole mental, emotional, dysfunctional, co-dependent relationship.
But, that's no different, than the family of a drunk or druggie, who will pick them up, buy the beer, give them a ride to the drug dealer, pay the cell phone bill, give them gas money, pay the rent, buy groceries or whatever.
In one particular episode, with a young married woman. Her husband and her mother cared for her.
Ok, I get that. She needed the care at her weight. She did get surgery, and struggled, but somehow gutted it out, and began to have success. But the family was no help. I wondered, if she lost the weight, what would change for the Mom and the husband? Why were they not as supportive as they should have been?
Most likely the patient is on disability, and the Mom and husband also get paid by medicare or medicaid or whatever, to care for her. So, if she get's healthy, the pay check, the food stamps, the rent and energy assistance, and so on, goes bye bye! Now Mom and the DH, have to get a job! On top of that, what if she is successful, will she march out of the house, find a new life and tell them to go pound sand?
Lots of emotions!
I believe, that these extreme cases, are extremely complicated. The surgery is just one tool. However, most likely, the family dynamics need to be examined and addressed, and if you can't get all on board, much like an intervention, with an alcoholic or drug addict, the chances of success are very small.
I feel it is very sad, that while weight loss surgery is a great tool, our medical community is terribly lacking in further examination of the family dynamics, educating people on healthy lifestyles, nutrition, healthy cooking, portions, where do you go from here, etc., and the mental health care that is needed to make the treatment totally comprehensive.
But, that does not happen with drug addicts, drunks, soldiers who suffer from post traumatic stress syndrome, etc., either.
A dear friend, former Marine, is back in rehab (drinks) again! He will never succeed, unless, at the very least his current wife, is willing to make changes, and he is going to need to make changes in lots of other relationships as well. I highly doubt, he will live another 2 years and he's only 43.
For me, I think some (not all) of the extreme obesity cases, are not that much different, than those of people and their families that choose other paths of addiction and the dysfunction that goes along
with that chosen path.
For those who have succeeded!
I'm sure it was not an easy journey, but you did it!
I admire you!
600 pound life
