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Old 02-14-2014, 12:37 PM   #82
apple to apple core
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 391

S/C/G: 275/215/175

Height: 5'7"


Llilith, that was a very interesting and somewhat disheartening read I can identify with some of what you said... I have a few friends that my very presence now makes them uncomfortable, all because I am a new size. I am somewhat confident my neighbor is actively avoiding me These are all friends who are obese, however I was more obese than they were when I started dieting, and now I'm significantly smaller than they are. I can tell they have conflicted feelings all around about the change in my appearance. Some of my techniques to smooth these friendships over are to 1) not mention dieting or weight loss at all 2) if it does come up, say that dieting blows and is a big pita so I can't wait til I'm done in a few more months 3) reinforce health motivations (i.e. I no longer have borderline high blood pressure) 4) mention the numbers of what I weighed and now weigh, because my current weight is still quite high for ladies and when they hear that number, they don't freak out as much. You are sure to run into this situation more and more as time goes on, sadly.

I have posted on fb about my weight loss at 11 lbs lost when I announced I was dieting, at 30 lbs lost when I exclaimed I could not believe I had stuck with it, at 50 lbs lost, and then here recently when I was no longer obese. So, 4 times in just over 10 months. That's more frequent than I would ever normally toot my own horn to the world at large. I have a self-deprecating manner irl, and it is very rare that I draw attention to my achievements if that makes sense. I don't even post on fb about my kids' achievements, lol, that's just not my style. 3FC is my sole outlet to post ad nauseam about weight related stuff and I am so grateful for it!

What's weird is, I can't ever remember complaining to other people about the way I looked even when I was morbidly obese, or, you know, sort of making negative jokes about myself being big. I didn't engage in negative talk about myself, other than lamenting a few times to my husband about my size. I was bummed about being so big, but I didn't feel super bad about my looks. Maybe it's because I live in a place where a large percentage of people are obese, so I blended right in, or maybe I have resilient self esteem, I'm not really sure. I do believe in beauty at any size, even my own size whatever that may be. I have totally told my 11 year old daughter that I hope she never has to battle an obesity issue like I'm having to battle. I tell her being thin is never a goal either. It's important to have a nourished and healthy body, and there is a wide range of what is healthy. Basically, that moderation is key. Having been morbidly obese, I have really reinforced with my own young children how beauty comes in all sizes; I hope that message has sunk in. We are learning together as a family to have healthier eating habits. It's exciting to watch the kids make good choices about food on their own.

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