Originally Posted by Bellybuttonlint403
So much changes when we lose weight. I lost friends because they were jealous and became mean
The comment you are withering away is so backhanded...I was told that and it made me mad.
The other comments were pretty supportive...The best one was a co-worker asking another girl who the new girl was and it was me lmao
For me going from being big and invisible to smaller and the topic of conversation...I freaked out and gained some back but I decided not to let anyone else dictate my happiness and I am back to that lower weight. Everyone has now adjusted and the comments have stopped.
I had the same issue when I first lost my weight. The first few pounds my co-workers didn't comment at all. I kept wearing the same clothes for a long time. I think I had already lost 20 lbs before I wore smaller t-shirts. I noticed as more and more weight came off the less time my friends at work spent with me. We never hung out after work but we always visited during the day, took breaks together, sat together at meetings. All of my friends at work were also over weight. I didn't talk weight loss or eating habits (mine or theirs) when we were together but I slowly found myself edged out of our gatherings and replaced by someone else. It hurt my feeling alot because I felt rejected and singled out. Then the comments would start about things when I was around.."we WERE going to go get a coffee and donut, since your on a diet we didn't figure you'd want to go, see you later"..
"So how much weight have you lost?"
"Omg, how much weight are you going to lose?"
"You're withering away to nothing!" (Which couldn't be furthest from the truth because I'm still plenty big.
"You look so different." They say this in like a complimentary way but I still don't know how to take it.
I remember being pulled aside by the office gossip lady and she said "Oh Cynthia are you doing ok? Are you sick?"
I got turned away from all the ladies at work and my feelings really were hurt when I kept getting the cold shoulder. I continued to eat the way I should and walked the track at work several times a day. I finally had a nice comment from the senior mechanic at work (this was 5 years ago). He was working on my bus on afternoon (I drove bus back then) and when I went up to ask him if my bus would be ready soon he began talking with me. I remember him saying that he had noticed i had been making some changes in my life and that I should be proud of myself. He told me that while I might be trying to hide myself in my still baggy clothes, he could notice the confidence I was gaining in myself while the weight came off.
This man never ever spoke to anyone at work. He told me not to worry about what others at work felt or said about my weight loss, that they just transferred their own personal anger about their own weight towards me. By seeing me drop the weight and taking control over my life my friends could no longer make excuses for themselves. The first day I went into work with jeans and a t-shirt that actually fit (they weren't baggy and hanging off me, but weren't tight either) he told me I looked nice and gave me confidence that I wasn't "odd looking" or asking for attention.
I remember another comment about my weight not being so nice. When I began to really drop the pounds several female co-workers began spreading rumors about me. I suddenly had gone thru weight loss surgery, and that was why I was losing weight. I remember one new employee who heard the rumor asked me about it. I was shocked when she said that everyone knew I had the surgery and that they would all lose weight if they could afford to have the surgery themselves.
I then found myself in another rumor, I was having an affair with a senior employee and "using my new found sex appeal" to get promotions.
It is amazing what people will say or do when they don't know the facts. I was dragged into my bosses office and asked about my "relationship" with this co-worker they even viewed video tape of us together. While things have calmed down I still get comments occasionally about my "change". I went from being described as the shy over weight girl to the stuck up skinny girl. Its amazing how people can generalize others by their looks. I am still that shy girl inside.
I've been accused of taking diet supplements, starving myself.
"you're probably going to gain it back, after losing it so quickly". I just generally respond, "well, I certainly hope not." Someone mentioned once that you would never say something like that to an alcoholic, so why would you say something like that to someone who has struggled with overeating?
This is a common comment, I always wonder why? Everyone else suddenly seems to be a weight loss expert. I was told that I might keep it off for a little while but as soon as I start eating "normally" again I will gain the weight back and more.
You feel like you constantly have to defend yourself, your choices, and why you are doing what you are doing. Just remember that you are the only one that knows what works for you and its your actions and beliefs that matter, not anyone else