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Old 01-05-2014, 07:13 PM   #13
Nightkatt
Countdown to my Wedding!!
 
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 1,091

S/C/G: 368/see ticker/218

Height: 5'9.5"

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Hi everyone .. okee .. so this is officially Day 1! I hope you are all excited .. or nervous lol .. about this new challenge .. I will be in every day to babble (as some of you know I do tend to do that a lot lol) ... hopefully some of it will be insightful enough to help you ..

For those of you that are new and haven't read all my babble .. I have been on a weight loss journey of one kind or another most of my life .. I joined 3FC 8 years ago now (wow) and in that time I have been on a roller-coaster ... but life ALWAYS interfered and I would put myself at the bottom of the "must get to" pile. Whether I just didn't think about it or felt that deep down I wasn't worth the time, I really don't know ... but I did finally realise last year that whatever the thinking was .. it wasn't the right thinking.

I always thought that if I focused on me and what I wanted or needed I was being selfish .. I mean really .. how self-centred can a person be if they are thinking of what they look like and feel like when others around you seem to need so much??? So that was another thing that would put me off thinking about what I was really needing in my life.

When I was 25 I was home sick at (a rare thing for me) I happened to see an episode of Oprah which had Dr John Grey on (author of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus) and it was day 1 of a seminar he was doing on Oprah which would go over 12 episodes .. that first episode was a huge eye-opener and I had all these little light bulbs going off in my head .. so I recorded every other episode and, when I think about it .. that was the moment my life started changing ... still .. that was over 15 years ago lol .. so it has been a long journey hehehe ... obviously some lessons are not things I pick up easily

Not long after I signed up to 3FC with all the excitement and determination that you get when you are trying something new I lost my nephew to leukaemia ... he was only 11 and I felt devastated as he had been in remission for 5 years .. so it was sudden and destroying for the family who thought the worst was over .. and I went right off the rails not caring about myself at all and just being a shell really .. going through the motions and being there for everyone else instead Then would come the anger at my choices because I would use him as the underlying reason for it .. how dare I?? I should have been living right because of him .. not wrong .. but again .. its a lesson that takes time ..

Soooo fast forward ... 2012 my sister was diagnosed with Melanoma, and it didn't get a good prognosis ... even with surgery she was given a 60% chance of surviving 5 years ... again I was devastated. My sister and I weren't close most of growing up and living in different towns we had even less time together .. but after a car accident which almost killed her in 2010 I made the time and so did she and we have become closer than ever, and I felt terrible about all the time that was wasted and that I could lose her again But she is a very strong woman (4 years older than me and the core of our family really) and she refused to listen to the doctors .. so she did the operations that were needed and changed her lifestyle completely. She is my inspiration every day and recently my best wedding present was the news that the doctors had given her the clear verdict .. not that it will never come back .. but the percentage is definitely on her side more now

So there you go ... I got inspired to take control ... and to finally focus on myself ... which actually started when I turned 40 ... it was weird .. i was thinking OMG .. How did I get to this age??? I felt like I was letting time go away from me.. thinking I had all the time in the world to focus on what I need, want or deserve .... then of course I had a wedding to get ready for .. and I didn't want to look at my wedding photos and hate who I saw there ... so that is what really kicked my butt most recently .. I had already started changing how I was doing things .. I was cutting things out of my life that were pulling me down, as hard as that was in some cases, it was necessary for my survival....

So here is my question for you (if you have managed to make it through all that babble lol) ... what is in your life that is more important than you? Why is it more important ... and if you put it first all the time are you able to give the best of yourself to it? If you don't feel the best you can about yourself .. how can you give the best of yourself to others ..

That is why I said its NOT selfish to focus on yourself. Its along the lines of that saying "If you don't love yourself how can others love you" .. blah blah blah about that one .. Im not a fan of the whole love yourself lol .. that still sounds a little narcissistic to me lol .. but I wholly believe in LIKING who you are ... not necessarily all of your actions .. but I do believe you need to LIKE the core of you ... so .. DO YOU?

I hope that this challenge will get you to focus on yourself .. to like the core of you .... and I don't just mean you saying "yes I like myself" ... you need actions to show that .. and that means putting yourself, your health and your attitude to the front for a change .. heck .. take the next 16 weeks out of your usual routine ... lets see if you can switch your thinking a little to put yourself, maybe not first all the time, but up the front of your thinking ... be the best you can .. and then you can give the best to others

Hugs all .. thanks for reading lol
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FREEDOM TO ALL!!

XMAS CHALLENGE 2014 (Sept - Dec)



:Goal 1 - 300 pounds - reached 9.09.13 Goal 2 - 264.6 by 2/12/13 : reached 26.11.13
Goal 3 - 240 reached 23.05.14: Goal 4 - 220
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