I didn't see a thread for the new month, or new year, so started one.
I am back to the very beginning again, one day. I am sure I am not the only one that is in need of this thread. I do well if I come here daily and check in, I know I will not do as well if I don't. So, why do I hide? I feel ashamed and embarrassed when I binge and just can't bring myself to come to the thread during the binging, yet being here is just what I need, before the binge begins, and maybe during it to help stop.
The book Brain over Binge has been recommended several times and I have downloaded a sample of it from Amazon. I am going to attempt reading it, and might look at the library for the full book if they have it and if I find some answers in it.
Once again, I am reminded that vacation is a horrible time for me. I can't handle all the events in the house, all the people, all the stress from the kids, and no way to escape. Eating is that escape. Its a comfort and a curse. I can make myself feel better for a brief moment and then the guilt piles on making things worse.
I have never had a period of binging so bad as this Christmas vacation. I am escalating and becoming for daring with the binge, eating foods out in open at times, leaving evidence in my car, half eaten bag of potato chips. I am becoming lazy and I feel at times like i want to be caught and want my husband to understand just how bad this habit is-that it is not easy to stop and is a disease.