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Old 12-29-2013, 10:16 PM   #45
schenectady
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Metro Seattle
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Height: 5 foot 6

Default Sage advice

Quote:
Originally Posted by 65X65 View Post
Hi- all I haven't been around much lately...but have tried to spot read a few posts a day until the travel and other things in my life that have kept me off line a lot settle down...hoping after the 1st to be back more!

Anyway..This one is near and dear to my heart and I recognize and identify with many who have been made to squirm a bit these last few weeks.

This is a personal area. Very much so. Some are, and have said they are OK with this discussion and fine with answering openly.

It appears from my year on the forum, most of us are uncomfortable with this level of detail, esp to people who have no need (right) to know ....except they are NOSEY! And most likely gossipy too, and it gives them a topic for discussion when you are not around...REALLY AWFUL!!

It is OK to evade this question. This whole thing belongs to you. It is NOT in the public domaine. Neither is how or what you are doing in detail something you are obligated to talk about. Some people need a more blunt smack in the ears tho' and a good pat answer that you can pop off to anyone who asks is the best defense. Mine was to look the person squarely in the eyes...and look horrified...and then with a weak smile..say.." You know that question makes me REALLY uncomfortable, and I've made the decision not to share that information with anyone..(or only my Dr...etc)" Read.."shame on you for asking."

"Thanks for noticing tho' ...." is always a nice segue into something else. Weather, Sports, sale at the mall...new book you just read or want to buy.......
READ AGAIN..."SO DONE talking about this ..with YOU!"
After a while the blunt nosey questions will stop. It is something you own all the rights to control. Answer...share...and the talk goes on and on...or end it "politely"...and start living your life as the new you.

You probably don't need to be on a public stage once that starts...so be careful, and know what ever you do choose to share will be out there while you are still working to figure this last bit out.

This part of who you are is not over for a long time..if ever. Chose your companions wisely.

Best wishes in the new year to all who have done so well these last months, and enjoy the wonderful things that await as you reach your goal and figure out maintenance.
I love the wisdom of your advice and completely agree. I know that I will be joining with my family later in the new year and their are bound to be questions or comments when I show up looking smaller. I think I will practice some of your responses so they just roll off the tongue. If I reach goal by then, I am hardly going to want to say "I lost 120 pounds"! What I was and what I will be are no one's business but my own. Even my DH has not a clue.
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