Originally Posted by mckaren4
Rnforbabies I am so sorry for your loss. Christmas day my dil who was 37 weeks pregnant lost her baby but didn't deliver it till yesterday. We are all grieving the loss of our first grandson. Your post brought some comfort to see you planning for another child. I will be praying for you!!!! Thank you so much for sharing your story-it helps me not feel so sorry for myself.....and gives me hope!!! Grief is such an emotional burden...we all have to work thru it.....
I am so deeply sorry for the loss of your first grandson. I have a daughter, but my son would have been the first boy in generations! I heard a quote that "the only cure for grief is to grieve." I think it's so true. It's been a little more than a month since my son died and my emotions have been all over the place. I think you'll find you'll have a few good days, then get set back with a bad day, especially after things start to go "back to normal" for everyone around you. I know my Mom felt a lot of support right after from her friends/family/etc, but eventually the flowers, meals and cards stop and you may feel very alone in your grief. The best advice I can give you is to just accept whatever emotions you are feeling, whether it's sadness, anger or confusion. Lastly, since I know I'm really off-topic here, please keep reaching out to your DIL. My MIL and I aren't particularly close. The day I had to deliver my sleeping baby, I didn't want to talk to anyone. She BEGGED me to call her, so I did. She told me how she was going to be there for me, blah, blah, blah. Since that day she hasn't said one thing. Nothing. We have seen each other Thanksgiving (4 days after), my birthday, my husband's birthday and Christmas (where I did all the cooking and had a house full of people). She never once asked how I was feeling or mentioned my son. I think a common misconception is that mentioning a grieving mother's child will cause her pain. It couldn't be farther from the truth. Talking about him is all I have left. If you're missing him, tell your DIL. It will make her feel good that she's not the only one. My Mom always says, "I can't believe this happened to us" and other phrases that use "us." That feels good too. I'm so sorry you lost your sweet grandson, especially this time if year. All the best to you and your family. I'll be thinking of you. Be well.