We who have surgery have taken a drastic step - and a one-way journey. unless we have a band, we can't undo the surgery. IMO, once we've had surgery, we've truly done every single thing we possibly could to control our weight.
And when do we understand that 'it's enough,' that even if we don't achieve our goal weight, it's time to simply do the best we can and enjoy our lives as they are.
In short, when do we love ourselves, even if we're not tiny?