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Old 12-09-2013, 01:50 PM   #70
Simply Filling Technique
pamatga's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta GA
Posts: 1,352

Smile Day 23: Counter the Unfairness Syndrome

Day 23: Counter the Unfairness Syndrome: I no longer feel this when it comes to food simply because life seems to be putting people in my path who are also at different junctions in relation to "food consumption and/or control of that" so I realize that what may seem "unfair" to me may seem like a "luxury" to other people. For example, there are diabetics that I know who need to take insulin if they even want to have a dessert. I have been dining with a friend who gives himself a shot before he had pumpkin pie. I am not at the point, and I pray to God, that I never am but it is a reality for him. Friday night; my DH and I were seated next to a couple whom actually ate less than we did. I do know that the man has had some serious health issues in the past although he seemed in good spirits Friday but his DW made sure that the amount of food he had on his plate was quite small so something tells me he has to watch his "diet" as well.

So, for this Day's message, I just "suck it up" and then say "Oh, well.." and move on.

maryann I am so sorry that you did not get the teaching position that you so deserved. Have you considered teaching at a private school? Private schools treat accreditation differently since they are privately funded (for one thing) and, secondly, IMHO, they have "common sense" something that the public school system seems to have "lost" along with people's pensions et al. I taught religion and history at a private school without a teaching degree simply because I do it well (and yes I will blow my horn on this one!) and the fact that my students came away better equipped in both subject areas.

Considering that there are so many flaws (too numerous to mention here) in the public school system, my "suggestion" is, if you are open to the idea, I would look into private schools. You have impressive credentials and if you love to teach (as I do) they will welcome you with open arms.

gardenerjoy I am at a point where I too am experimenting with allowed pre-planned snacks that seem off the radar from what I used to eat. If something is a "problem" (and we all know what that means) then it is taken off of my "acceptable" list until a future date (TBD by my mental and emotional state).

In one of the days in the pink book, Dr. Beck does make the suggestion that if you live with other people and they have their "favorites" then her suggestion is to mediate about the amount of certain foods permissible in "shared space" including the single serving size. One of the former junk foods that I just love (and IMO there is no substitute and I have tried them all) is Lay's Classic potato chips. I literally went a decade without having one and I still rarely have them because I just love them. However, they do sell them in single serving size and, on a rare occasion, I do have them.

Great Job on handling the situation with forethought and then ease.

BBE Major Kudos for the 19 day streak. I think you are unbeatable. You certainly are a master at the BDS I too like the idea of thinking outside the box when it comes to what is considered "exercise" or what I like to call "activity or movement". In my 30s and 40s I belonged to several fitness centers. My workout schedule included: dragging my huge gym bag to a fitness center then work out before going to my paid work all while using public transit and making bus changes! It worked for me then but I would rather fit in "movement" in other ways "these days". I will leave that "lifestyle" for the "younger set". After all of these years it is the simple "activities" that still resonate with me: walking, biking, hiking, swimming, yoga.

ForMyGirls Great Job being OP for 4 days in a row!

CeeJay "Lurk away!" I guess, "struggling with perfectionism" seems like a common theme in so many of the groups that I have belonged to but where was it written that we have to do "anything" perfect, let alone weight loss? Progress not perfectionism is my motto. I am rejoining an old group after the first of the year and I know that I will be reporting a higher weight than when I left there. I have been nervous about that because then there is all of that "explaining" to do but then I got to thinking it is only the first weight that you report that is the toughest :, right, so I will just "suck it in" and then say three times while clicking my heels, "Oh, well..."

To put things in perspective, I had big plans for the past two years. First, I wanted to lose over 100 lbs by my 60th birthday. It was doable but I hadn't yet gotten down some of these skills and so I was all over the map. However, when my birthday came, there was still a lot to celebrate: 1) I was 20 lbs lighter and I had kept that off for close to a year. 2) I also had lost 35"+ inches all over my body and I was 4 sizes smaller! 3) I set some boundaries with a very toxic relationship twice and said in no uncertain terms that I will not allow someone, even someone I love more than life itself, to treat me like a dirty rag. I deserve better! 4)I assessed my good characteristics and I acknowledged them to myself.

I finally have stopped feeling guilty that I have chosen to be semi-retired at a time when we have taken some major hits financially. My concession that I have offered is to be a good and sound financial manager. My DH sees the value in that and trusts me even more. and finally 5) I have been able to face you and many others in my life by admitting who I am really am. In the process, I have discovered not only am I am not "half-bad", in some instances, I am even better than I once thought.

So, to sum up things, CeeJay, give yourself credit where credit is due. That is early on in the pink book and if you learn nothing else from BDS this is probably one of the more important ones. Practice the "Golden Rule" love yourself first and mean it. Once your cup is full and starts to run over, then you can love others but not before. You can't give what you don't have to give. Simple truth. Someone said (and I am sorry that I don't know who) that "Nothing good ever came out of self-hatred." I like to take that further and take a line from the movie "The Hurricane". Denzel Washington portrays a man wrongly accused of some crime and is in prison. He says:" Hate got me in here and love is going to set me free." I hated myself to 301.8 lbs. CeeJay, I am going to love myself to 140 lbs. Won't you join me?

If I missed anyone else, I am sorry. I am putting up the Christmas tree as well which includes vacuuming, rearranging major pieces of furniture to find space in our living room and then making dinner. It is a rainy, cold and dreary day. I think it is a "perfect" task to do on a day like this. Credit me for working out the old-fashioned way: housework.

Take care, Pam

P.S. My diabetic friend's approach to being able to eat pie is not uncommon but it is NOT endorsed by any registered dietician or the American Diabetes Assoc. It is a dangerous way of circumventing spikes in blood sugar since the results are quite unpredictable. I simply shared that to show that some people will take short cuts to get what they want.

Last edited by pamatga; 12-09-2013 at 02:01 PM.
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