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Old 11-14-2013, 08:57 PM   #12
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kaplods's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Wausau, WI
Posts: 13,383

S/C/G: SW:394/310/180

Height: 5'6"


I've been obese all of my dating life and I met my husband at 375 lbs (from a personal ad I placed). Before that my romantic social life was sporadic, but seemed to ebb and flow with my confidence level.

When I was happy and confident, I dated, and when I was insecure and depressed, I didn't (and would reject anyone who did ask me out, because I found something wrong with them).

I watched a documentary several years ago on human sexuality and romance and the researchers found that in virtually all cultures where marriages aren't prearranged, it's actually the women who make the first move. Men generally only approached women who have already shown interest such as by smiling and making eye contact.

The researchers studied singles in night clubs in North America and Europe and not only found this same pattern, but found that when men DID approach a woman who hadn't initiated the interaction with smiling and eye contact, they were usually rejected. Regardless of the men's, attractiveness, women found those who made the "first move" creepy.

I didn't realize that all along, I had played the game without knowing it. I had made the first move with all of the guys I ended up dating or becoming friends with. The few times a guy did show interest "out of the blue," I too, found it creepy or at least socially awkward.
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