Oh wow, Vintagecat, that is a rough, stressful set of circumstances you are in. I'm so sorry about all you are having to struggle with, I'm sure you feel totally overwhelmed.
Hang in there. Not much you can do but keep marching forward to the best of your ability. You will eventually get to the other side of all of this, even though right now I'm sure it seems impossible. Keep your goals in sight, but also be gentle with yourself. I'm sending you lots of positive thoughts!
Loving yourself is an act of will. It doesn't just happen, you have to choose it.
My blog: On Hiatus.