Discouraged And Wondering What's The Point
Long time lurker just looking to vent a bit. I lost 80 + pounds last year/this year by following WW, coming down from near 400 to where I am now, teetering between 315 and 307. I got down as low as 292 for awhile but couldn't maintain it. My problem, besides being stuck, is that I don't feel any better. My clothes fit slightly different but not enough to go on some new buying spree. I lost, I'd say one size, coming down from 30/32 to 26/28. I'm still exhausted and sleepy all the time. Worst of all, I'm still in terrible pain. As best I can figure my stomach is so big and heavy it's pull forwards and down causes me excruciating back pain. I can't sit for too long, I can't stand for too long. Every decision to do something interesting or fun or the slightest bit taxing has to be weighed against the pain it will cause and whether or not it's even worth it. it usually isn't.
I'm a night owl so I see all these people on infomercial and their lives have completely changed by losing 20, 30, 40 pounds. I've lost over twice that and it's made no difference in my life whatsoever. None. I know it's an ad and they were paid for their portrayals but...They're so happy! Their lives are totally different! They feel better, they sleep better, they live better. And here I sit, absolutely miserable at one point having lost nearly 100 pounds total. I don't even know where this mystery 80 pounds disappeared from. Not my stomach, not my butt or thighs. I notice a slight difference in my neck and shoulders..but that's it. So essentially nowhere useful.
I'm just discouraged. I'm starting to feel like what's the point? Life is hard right now, I'm single, depressed, no job, no money, struggling through my Masters degree and on top of all of that I can't just drown my sorrows in a pizza. I busted my *** for a year to drop this weight and honestly it feels like it was absolutely pointless. Why devote another year or more to this? Why struggle?
I'm getting to the point where I just don't care anymore.
Anyone else out there ever felt this way? Anyone else lost a lot of weight and not felt the slightest bit better?
Sorry for the rant, it's nearly 5AM, I can't sleep and just needed to get this out.
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.