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Old 10-07-2013, 04:41 PM   #95
mainecyn
Battling Binge Eating
 
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Wyoming
Posts: 301

S/C/G: 228/179/150

Height: 5'5 1/2

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You're definitely not alone, even if it feels like you are. When you're having a hard time, come back and read this thread.
i have tried finding help or support locally, even spoke to a co-worker today yet she didn't understand it whatsoever. She associated binging with eating a candy bar, or a bite of cake. I tried explaining that its eating the entire cake, then moving on to the ice cream container, the bag of chips, eating so fast you choke, that you have sores in your mouth the next day from forcing it in or not chewing enough..she looked at me puzzled and said why don't those people just stop over eating? I told her binging in just as much an eating disorder as bulimia, yet you don't vomit. She had an ignorant look on her face. Luckily, we were speaking in the general sense. I have not found anyone yet at work that understands it at all so its difficult to open up.

My husband, in his own words, adores me worships me and cherishes me. He has watched me lose and keep off 80 lbs. as far as he is concerned I have no food issues anymore because I am now "thin" compared to the 242 lbs I used to be. I have tried explaining binging to him as well, he doesn't get it either.

So, I looked for a place like this, thankfully I have found it. I have been a member of online over eaters anonymous..it didn't work for me. I need to totally ban some foods and they tried teaching me that no food is off limits.

I wished I loved myself as much as my husband loves me, to see myself thru his eyes for one day would be a gift. I can't begin to count how many times I have said today is the day, I wont let something so little as food control me. I will eat all healthy foods, learn to be happy within myself, my own skin. My binging is a dirty part of me, a shameful, broken piece of me. Binging is a type of mental issue, as much as depression or anything related to it. A chemical imbalance, and addiction, I learned that from the years before when I saw a therapist.
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