It's so good to know I'm not alone! I've tried to talk to friends about this before, and I always get, "YOU'RE NOT FAT!" as a response...which can be very frustrating.
I know that almost all of it is psychological, and that half the battle is learning to overcome the negative feelings. It can just be hard when I thought I looked good to realize that maybe I didn't so much - and then spend the next two weeks feeling like I look terrible in everything I own.
Espronceda - I hear you about the sweaty pictures! My son has been training for a local kids race, and as part of our training we ran a 5k. They took pictures of us for the website because my son is 6, and I wanted to die when I saw them. Fat and sweaty is not a good look!
Mimi - I agree, sometimes I find myself looking in the mirror thinking, "I don't look so bad" and then putting off a workout or allowing myself to eat something I shouldn't. But I will say, pictures are certainly a motivator! I should just hang fat pictures of myself on the fridge so I won't eat bad stuff!
Noelle - It is a vicious cycle. But if we work hard, we can break it!
RadioJane - You are doing amazing...You've already lost 100 lbs! That's incredible! But I understand what you're saying...and I hope when I finally reach my goal I'll be able to fully appreciate it.
Merrily - I agree that confidence makes all the difference, and I try to remind myself of that when I start to think I looked bad on a particular day...but it's hard. I'm just trying to use the photos as motivation to keep going!
Catgoyle - It's funny that you mention anorexia. That's something that I've wondered about too, if I could end up with an eating disorder because of my body issues. But I realize that it's more likely that I'll just never reach my goal because I get it in my head that I'm not that big...It's so confusing!
Riestrella - Thank you so much for your wonderful insight! I'm dealing with a lot of self -esteem issues in addition to trying to lose weight, and I remember a trainer I worked with about 5 years ago telling me that she became a licensed therapist because she found that most of her clients had deeper-seeded problems to conquer before they could achieve their goals. I really appreciate all the support I've been receiving here, and I think I'm on my way to getting where I want to be.
Thank you all for your input, you are all doing an amazing job and are wonderful people. Best of luck in all your journeys!