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09-09-2013, 07:40 PM
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#1
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Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 41
S/C/G: 242.6/151/155
Height: 5'7"
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Just a Vent
Hey folks I tend to lurk a lot and gather tons of information. Ill put my 2 cents in here and there if I think I can help. Right now I just want to vent.
So I've been trucking along on IP since April and I've never made a big deal about it. If some one asks I'll answer their questions. I've read posts about how to answer that inevitable one about HOW MUCH but I just tell people, cause its easier. It's officially around the 60lbs mark.
So I go home this weekend and see family, who have seen me on and off since I started. My aunt asks HOW MUCH so I tell her. What does she do...calls up my other aunt I'm pretty sure as soon as I left...then walks to where another aunt works and tells her...
I had also seen my MIL that weekend who was very nice and complimented me, and of course I'm sure many of have heard the IM GOING TO HAVE TO DO THAT DIET. Then today i get a Facebook notification the MIL has written on my timeline "You look amazing ... Your doing fantastic on your diet" yes it's really nice of her but these are exact words she said to me when she seen me in person...So why put it on Facebook for the world see.
So that's my rant. I'm sure their hearts were in the right place its just that I am just a fairly private person.
I needed that off my chest.
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09-09-2013, 07:51 PM
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#2
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Davis, Ca
Posts: 23,149
S/C/G: 204/114/120
Height: 5'
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That is why I never tell anybody I am dieting..
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09-09-2013, 08:07 PM
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#3
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Reboot 10/24/15 - Age 49
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Denver CO
Posts: 251
S/C/G: 217.5/202.3/155
Height: 5'7"
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Wow, that's tough. Can you delete that post and follow it with a private message stating you are happy she sees your progress but you prefer not to have your weight loss broadcast over FB?
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09-09-2013, 08:11 PM
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#4
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Cat Cuddler
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: California
Posts: 571
S/C/G: 287/266/150
Height: 5'5"
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I haven't told anyone that I am on WW, but since I haven't lost much, it isn't noticeable yet.
I don't understand why other people are so invested in what other people weigh and why they have to talk about it. It's nobody's dam* business.
I have a neighbor who brings up my weight problem in every conversation. She is very vain so I think she gets a lot of pleasure in doing this. As you can imagine, I don't talk to her any more.
My MIL loves to make nasty comments about my weight and when I start to lose weight, she panics and shoves food at me.
This time, I am doing WW online, and I am working on ignoring comments from others. In the past, I didn't handle it well, and I let it get me off track - so I am just keeping to myself. If I lose enough so that people notice, I don't know how I am going to handle comments because I like my privacy.
Your family members are very proud of you, but I agree with Tuscany, they need to be aware of your feelings.
Last edited by doingmybest; 09-09-2013 at 08:43 PM.
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09-09-2013, 08:15 PM
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#5
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Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 41
S/C/G: 242.6/151/155
Height: 5'7"
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Trust me I've tried to avoid telling anyone. But it comes up, why arent you drinking, just have a piece of whatever... and after loosing a certain amount of weight people figure it out.
I like to tell some people it's cocaine and laxatives...
And ya I deleted the post, ill mention it to her next time we talk. I just shake my head, it's not thier story to tell...thanks for letting me blow some steam, sometimes you just need to vent to people who are in the same journey as you.
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09-09-2013, 08:24 PM
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#6
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Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 41
S/C/G: 242.6/151/155
Height: 5'7"
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Quote:
Originally Posted by doingmybest
I haven't told anyone that I am on WW, but since I haven't lost much, it isn't noticeable yet.
I don't understand why other people are so invested in what other people weigh. It's nobody's dam* business.
I have a neighbor who brings up my weight problem in every conversation. She is very vain so I think she gets a lot of pleasure in doing this. As you can imagine, I don't talk to her any more.
My MIL loves to make nasty comments about my weight and when I start to lose weight, she panics and shoves food at me.
This time, I am doing WW online, and I am working on ignoring comments from others. In the past, that I didn't handle it well, and I let it get me off track - so I am just keeping to myself.
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Thankfully I haven't had to deal with people budding their nose in when I'm really over weight. It's not like a person doesn't know, but I truly believe you have to be in the right frame of mind to do something otherwise it just doesn't work. And by your stats it looks like your doing great.
And ugh nosy neighbors that's a topic for another board. Haha
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09-09-2013, 08:46 PM
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#7
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Started IP 07/29/2013
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: N.Dakota
Posts: 158
S/C/G: 206.8/186/125
Height: 5'6"
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I get that your a 'private' person.. .but at least the notice you have lost weight.. I would be extatic! I have lost 40 lbs since the beginning of the year and NOBODY has noticed.. all my spouse said a few weeks ago is that my skin looks better, must be the vitamins.. REALLY?!?!
I would try to take the compliments, and the rudness can be contributed to jelousy.. and yes, it's a good thing! People that are jelous of your success can't stand it and will always try to bring you down. Turn the other cheek and remember that the more they try to bring you down the worse they look to other people. Others will get sick of the constant negativity and start thinking about those people in a more negative light.
Just keep smiling all the way to new cloths and a new wardrobe... thats the best revenge of all!
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09-09-2013, 09:26 PM
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#8
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Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 41
S/C/G: 242.6/151/155
Height: 5'7"
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Frostyboober
The compliments can be awkward but I try to take them with grace. I found this article on pintrest when I first started and thought it made a lot of sense.
http://think-slimmer.com/2012/06/09/unroll/
And I think this is why people are noticing more now. I've seen these same people after 20-40 lb loss and they didn't make as big a deal then but the more you lose the more noticble small losses are.
And people will notice. Great job and keep up the good work.
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09-09-2013, 10:01 PM
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#9
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My own kind of beautiful
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 264
S/C/G: 334/245/175
Height: 5'5"
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I havent told many people that I was going on a diet, partly because I do not want to be disappointed if it doesnt work (I know, bad to think that way, but I'e done so many other diets, I just dont have much faith left) and also, because I dont want people making a big deal out of it... the only reason I told the people I did was so they knew not to worry about me if I lost a lot of weight fast (Ive had health problems in the past)... I told half a dozen people, so I had a support system as I start....
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09-09-2013, 10:07 PM
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#10
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Junior Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 28
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wesstrom
Trust me I've tried to avoid telling anyone. But it comes up, why arent you drinking, just have a piece of whatever... and after loosing a certain amount of weight people figure it out.
I like to tell some people it's cocaine and laxatives...
And ya I deleted the post, ill mention it to her next time we talk. I just shake my head, it's not thier story to tell...thanks for letting me blow some steam, sometimes you just need to vent to people who are in the same journey as you.
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cocaine and laxatives is the funniest thing I have heard in a long time. I ame going to use that.
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09-18-2013, 09:17 PM
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#11
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Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 38
S/C/G: 212/see ticker/150
Height: 5'4"
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I've found that there are still a lot of people out there who don't know the differencing between posting on a wall and sending a private message. One of my aunts insists she sends private messages, but they're always a post on someone's wall. Hopefully it was all a mistake?
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09-18-2013, 10:21 PM
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#12
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Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 142
S/C/G: Restart: 233/ 214/ 170
Height: 5'1
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My favorite comment on facebook is "Wow! You've lost a ton of weight!"
A ton?! Do you know how much a ton weighs? How fat do you think i was.
And all those people who said when i was fatter - "you look good." After losing some weight they gush - "ohmygodyoulooksomuchbetternow"
:/
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09-19-2013, 08:11 AM
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#13
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Started IP 8/12/13
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: MD
Posts: 116
S/C/G: 226/183.6/150
Height: 5'1''
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wesstrom
Trust me I've tried to avoid telling anyone. But it comes up, why arent you drinking, just have a piece of whatever... and after loosing a certain amount of weight people figure it out.
I like to tell some people it's cocaine and laxatives...
And ya I deleted the post, ill mention it to her next time we talk. I just shake my head, it's not thier story to tell...thanks for letting me blow some steam, sometimes you just need to vent to people who are in the same journey as you.
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LOLOLOL at the cocaine and laxatives - im def going to use that one!!!! Especially at church - they think im the rebel anyways ..
Like you i am also very private and anytime i see something on my facebook or instagram where someone is "letting the cat out the bag" I delete quickly .. You are right it isnt her story to tell - and really and truly you dont need to say anything to her about the post - if she's smart she would have seen that you deleted it and understand .. HOPEFULLY
On another note - congrats on your successes with IP - I LOVE IT!
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09-19-2013, 10:15 AM
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#14
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Joined IP on 07/15/13
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: California
Posts: 86
S/C/G: 195/see ticker/170
Height: 5'9
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I actually did not tell anyone that I was on IP besides my mom, my sister and my bestie... I usually say to people who comment ony my weight loss that I decided to eat healthier. If they ask me what I am doing to eat healthier, I reply that I simply cut sugar, bread, pasta and flour products from my daily food intake !!
But I definitely love the cocaine and laxatives comment !! Hilarious !
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09-19-2013, 10:41 AM
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#15
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Metro Seattle
Posts: 937
S/C/G: 297/IP start 270/201/160
Height: 5 foot 6
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Frenchy - I feel very much the same as you. My daughter and husband (who inspired me to start IP after their great successes) know as well as one other person. Even my husband thinks I am just trying to eat better.
I do not need snarky comments nor the caring ones who agree I need to lose weight but would not approve of the way I choose to do it - they are full of critical 'evidence' of what harm I am doing.
They were not there for me as I put the weight on, they do not have access to the emotions harbor so they can just sit on the sidelines and wonder whatever they want.
This is a fight, a war, between the old me and the new me, the healthy, confident, determined one and so I choose to battle privately.
I know they do not all mean wrong or bad by their comments but this is too tough a situation to let them derail me. Easier walking this particular road by myself.
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