I worked as a probation officer for several years in Illinois, and I would suggest that you not drop the restraining order. You may not even be able to, as more and more jurisdictions are making it nearly impossible (for reasons I'll get into).
Firstly, while, yes, some men become more violent in reaction to a restraining order, very few of those men will become less angry or violent when the restraining order is dropped. Instead, they often become even MORE angry, because in their minds the order being dropped "proves" in their mind that it was a bogus in the first place (in other words, if you were really that afraid of me, you wouldn't have dropped the order).
Unfortunately, some police departments and judges will (or at least did 15 years ago) see it the same way, so you may find it difficult to get their full cooperation if your ex were to cause you problems in the future.
If you drop the order and he sees this as the perfect time for revenge (which many do), you'll be in a worse position than ever.
At the very least, consult with a domestic violence counselor or advocate in your area. They can help you asses the possible and actual risk to you. They may even be able to help you find out if this guy has had similar issues in the past and whether or not his violence escalated after a prevuous RO was dropped or expired. They also may be able to help you confidentially contact this guy's Probation Officer, if he has one, to help assess the risk.
Last edited by kaplods; 08-11-2013 at 07:33 PM.
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