I have been doing good, then I gained 5lbs in the last week. All due to binging. It all started when I did some grocery shopping, I bought myself some treats since I was doing good and turned around and consumed what should of lasted more than a week in two days. I am normally not like this and I can't think of any reason why. I have been a little stressed, but nothing that I can't handle. Even tonight I found myself turning to food and eating when I wasn't even hungry.
I find this so frustrating and that frustration is making me want to eat more. I hate when I am not in control of things and this past week I have been out of control when it comes to eating. Damn this is hard for me to even admit, but I feel like I am losing it, and I just don't want to see the numbers on the scale go up anymore.
This is a long journey, and has many routes and diversions. It's not always possible to keep going at the same pace, for many reasons.
Be kind to yourself and gently put one foot in front of the other to keep going. You've done amazingly well, and will do so again. But getting mad and beating yourself up will not help - you just gently have to take control again.
It is essential that you not see this as a "one and done" thing. You made a mistake. You now know that you CANNOT bring "treats" into the house, period. Do not do it. You are sabotaging yourself by doing so. So pick yourself up, learn from this mistake and get back to work. That scale will be moving in the right direction in no time.
And by the way, when you are going good, that is not the time to reward yourself with food. I think it's safe to say that all of us here have a disordered relationship with food. We don't use food as food, we use food as a drug. If a heroin addict was staying clean and doing good, would they reward themselves with a little hit of heroin? No, because they'd be back in the downward spiral instantly. Don't do that to yourself! Food is not a reward! Food is fuel, sustenance for life. If you need to reward yourself, get a pedicure, a massage, a facial, a new pair of shoes, a new shirt, go to a movie, etc. Don't eat as a reward, ever.
If i want something i just buy one of whatever it is i'm getting, e.g one slice of cheesecake or one chocolate bar. I never buy any more than that because i can demolish a few choc bars in one sitting, they will never make it to the end of the week. If it makes you feel any better i put on 9 lbs on my holiday..... Woe is me but back on track now! Main thing is you get back to it! After my hols i was still eating terribly for a week, i regret that i wish i had started as soon as i got home!! Good luck x
Good girl, I had myself talked into completely ruining my night last night, I was completely out of control. We had visitors and I had a few drinks
Then I ate chips, lollies peanut, and the little voice in my head was saying "your going to be s cranky in the morning" and I felt so disappointed when I woke up because I was so stupid
But I Weighed in fine, Don't deserve to, but I did. Back on track this morning One diet I was on if I Lost weight I brought 1 thing that I really loved and ate it, didn't matter what it was.
Then if I didn't lose weight I never had a special. It was only if I lost weight. I felt like I Wasn't missing out then. That worked for me, if I wanted. Piece of cake I had it, or a snicker that was my reward. Or I brought a piece of clothing
Get back on track, hold your head up, you an do it. This site is fabulous for support
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"We don't use food as food, we use food as a drug. If a heroin addict was staying clean and doing good, would they reward themselves with a little hit of heroin?"
Truer words were not spoken. Safe to say that Corey Monteith (the Glee star that died recently) thought that this is exactly what he could do. He was still gripped in the struggle of addiction. Very sad and sadly relatable.
OP, I'm glad that you have picked yourself up and dusted off after the bingeing. I have found it useful to do a little meditation on the issues that might have lead to the binge, perhaps besides or in addition to the stated reason of a reward. Is there a fear of failure perhaps with self sabotage to ensure it so you won't have to face failure at a more critical juncture or perhaps change and the unknown of uncharted waters itself is frightening or maybe there is unwanted attention that is uncomfortable or frightening?
I know that my personal addiction was very complex and there was always a subtext like the above examples lurking in the shadows of a bingeing spate. In my day I was one of the world's biggest and most out of control food addicts. I had epic binges that made me afraid that I might die because of the scope of them. Ultimately I had to get at what was eating me before I could quit "using". Yes, I tapered off and I normally kept danger (in the form of bingeing foods) out of the house but I still "used" when things were eating me.
I wish you the very best. Been there done that, have the now 60 something pounds (was over 120# at my top end) to show for it.
Cathy
Last edited by vintagecat; 08-22-2013 at 02:46 PM.
Feeling alittle out of control
Ravonillusio n
