Oddly, I can totally relate. Lately, I've come to the realization that I don't want to be "only" thin, I want to be thin and beautiful.
As a fat woman, I have felt beautiful at least within the context of my weight. I felt prettier than average for my weight.
I thought I created those feelings (that is I thought I was choosing to feel beautiful and that I therefore created my own reality).
I'm finding that I am not entirely pleased with the effects weight loss and aging are having on my face and body.
I'm also finding that I care more about those changes than I expected to.
Don't get me wrong, I fully believe I can choose to feel beautiful at any size and age. It's just going to be a little more challenging than I expected.
I teared up...it's an every day, every moment struggle to feel beautiful, and most of the time I fail. I'm a work in progress, and I'm working towards feeling more confident and comfortable in my own skin. Thank you for sharing this video!
Oddly, I can totally relate. Lately, I've come to the realization that I don't want to be "only" thin, I want to be thin and beautiful.
As a fat woman, I have felt beautiful at least within the context of my weight. I felt prettier than average for my weight.
I thought I created those feelings (that is I thought I was choosing to feel beautiful and that I therefore created my own reality).
I'm finding that I am not entirely pleased with the effects weight loss and aging are having on my face and body.
I'm also finding that I care more about those changes than I expected to.
Don't get me wrong, I fully believe I can choose to feel beautiful at any size and age. It's just going to be a little more challenging than I expected.
I'm having trouble some days, too. I hate this menopause business. But I know my husband finds me beautiful and that helps. I'm honestly not worried about impressing anyone, just want to feel pretty for myself.
As soon as I saw the title of this thread, I knew it had to be the Dustin Hoffman interview. I cried each time I have watched the clip. Three times now. I have always like Mr. Hoffman. Now I love him.
I just watched this and cried. I wish I felt beautiful to myself but don't. I will never be what society "deems" is beautiful. Heck, I'm not even beautiful to my husband. Never have been even when I was normal weight when we met.
Now that I'm losing all this weight there are other things that make me feel "less beautiful" like the look of my skin.
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I've read a Dustin Hoffman quote (much briefer) along that line a few years ago. Something like,"I became a woman that I wouldn't have lunch with." He gets it.
kaplods:
"I'm finding that I am not entirely pleased with the effects weight loss and aging are having on my face and body. I'm also finding that I care more about those changes than I expected to."
Your entire post struck a theme that has run through my life as well. I am the only fat person in my family dominated with beautiful women. (Both sisters were in state level Miss USA pageants, one 3rd runner up.)
For a fat person I've been handsomer than most, except at my most extreme where my face essentially disappeared. Now I'm at an age where I will likely not be as pleased as I was when I was younger with the results of weight loss and I have to face the fact that I did this to myself because I didn't have the coping mechanisms, the courage or the self esteem as a young person to be as beautiful as I was.
I hid behind fat and for the safety benefits that fat accrued to me over the years I can't expect to wholly undo the effects. Frankly I'm going to have some serious "vertical displacement" that toning can't firm up. I'm already getting the underarm wings and softening at the jaw line.
I am past my prime at 55 and what I look like minus fat will take some getting used to because my last image without excess fat was in my early 30s. I'm going to have to look past some of that with a restoration of health being my number one goal.
I love this clip and FWIW, it's not just men. Women also "saw" me and were friendlier when I was "prettier". I remember getting all these out of the blue friendship overtures when I was thin and attractive. It's a rare occasion when fatter and less handsome. I relate to the underdog. I think it's a karmic journey that I'm on.
Oddly, I can totally relate. Lately, I've come to the realization that I don't want to be "only" thin, I want to be thin and beautiful.
As a fat woman, I have felt beautiful at least within the context of my weight. I felt prettier than average for my weight.
I thought I created those feelings (that is I thought I was choosing to feel beautiful and that I therefore created my own reality).
I'm finding that I am not entirely pleased with the effects weight loss and aging are having on my face and body.
I'm also finding that I care more about those changes than I expected to.
Don't get me wrong, I fully believe I can choose to feel beautiful at any size and age. It's just going to be a little more challenging than I expected.
Wow. So glad to know i'm not the only one.
i've posted about this a few times, feeling this way. i have a pretty face even though i had a double chin when i was fat and i had thought losing weight and getting thin would only add to the attractiveness (or at least i had hoped) and did NOT anticipate the challenges that came with weight loss at least for me. My face looks completely different. Not different in that i don't look like myself, but my body chose to strip every ounce of fat from my face and it is very chiseled now and i find myself avoiding some mirrors in order to avoid reality (sounds so vain, doesn't it?!!) also factor in the aging (51) which every woman, especially, HAS to deal with unless they have very little vanity at all.
Too bad i waited til 49 to start losing the weight. Saggy boobs and loose skin (AND my bubble butt gone, boo!) notwithstanding, at least i admire my body now
An Enlightened Male Speaks
