[Euphy]

My boyfriend and I went to the zoo last week, so I was just uploading everything on my camera. I discovered a lot of pictures my boyfriend had secretly taken of me. In the kitchen cooking, on the couch, at the computer.

I don't think I've ever felt so bad about myself. I didn't know I looked that gross. I honestly just feel disgusted with myself. I was so excited this morning too, because I've FINALLY starting dropping some weight ever since I quit birth control. I don't want this to send me into a depression.

I've asked him not to take pictures of me because I can't handle seeing what I look like to other people. I don't know if he does it to make me feel bad about myself so I'll try harder to lose weight, but that's how it makes me feel.

I know some people like before pictures to see the progress they've made, but it just really tears me up. It doesn't help me at all.

[Hyacinth]

I've had some pretty shocking photo moments as well, and avoided the camera forever. I joined facebook at my near-top weight, and the horrible photos I saw of myself (dancing, red-faced and sweating at a wedding) had a fair amount of influence over my decision to lose weight. Other things motivated me as well, but that was certainly a poke in the direction I wanted to go!

Don't hate yourself, and don't hate your appearance. The camera is a 2-dimensional representation of a 3-dimensional world. The more overweight you are, the more the camera distorts.

I used to tell people that my beauty was a moving sort of beauty. lol

[GlamourGirl827]

I have never liked it. Even at my goal weight, I avoid being in photos. When I'm at this weight, forget it. I'd rather jump off a cliff than be in a picture!

[Lolo70]

Originally Posted by Hyacinth

I've had some pretty shocking photo moments as well, and avoided the camera forever. I joined facebook at my near-top weight, and the horrible photos I saw of myself (dancing, red-faced and sweating at a wedding) had a fair amount of influence over my decision to lose weight. Other things motivated me as well, but that was certainly a poke in the direction I wanted to go!

Don't hate yourself, and don't hate your appearance. The camera is a 2-dimensional representation of a 3-dimensional world. The more overweight you are, the more the camera distorts.

I used to tell people that my beauty was a moving sort of beauty. lol

This made me smile. Exactly my story. Almost two years later, I feel a lot better about myself.

[Desiderata]

I'm surprised I'm still so unhappy with how I look in most pictures. I'm a lot happier when I look in the mirror - and abstractly, I know the camera and the mirror aren't comparable and the mind plays tricks, etc, etc. But still. I was at a family event with a lot of photos recently - and got many positive compliments on my weight loss - but I'm still embarrassed by 90% of the photos of me. :/ To be fair, that feeling is 10x worse when I look back at older pictures.

[Psychic]

I hate seeing pictures of myself. I have this one friend that loves to take candid photos and post them on facebook. The most recent uploads included a tagged picture of me partially bent over with my shirt riding up my back. Bleh. I never realized that I looked that fat from behind until she started taking pictures of me.

[Tuscany]

Remember that cameras don't really tell the "truth", no matter what...plus cameras definitely add pounds. Even my skinny friends and relatives look bigger in photos than they do in person.

I always love photos of me that are taken by professional photographers and I hate photos taken by amateurs. Relative to a mirror, the amateur photographs look much worse and the professional photographs look much better. So, what's the truth? The mirror? The amateur photos? Or the professional photos? Darned if I know!

As for your boyfriend...try to be flattered that he wants a photograph of you.

[Song of Surly]

Originally Posted by Euphy

I've asked him not to take pictures of me because I can't handle seeing what I look like to other people. I don't know if he does it to make me feel bad about myself so I'll try harder to lose weight, but that's how it makes me feel.

From the way you said he took the pictures - candid, in the moment, every day - it actually sounds quite the opposite of how you feel. It seems to me he probably thinks that you're beautiful doing these things, and because of that, he wants a picture. You "inspire" him. My boyfriend has taken several shots of me like this, and sometimes they have not always been very clothed. Some of those I can't even stand to look at, but he thinks I look beautiful.

He also has taken pictures purely for embarrassment, but those are not tied to my weight. Me with a cold sleeping with my mouth open. Catching me candidly so he can get some really atrocious looking face. His favorite is taking a picture in the dark so he gets my stunned, eyes half closed drunk-looking face. If that is what your boyfriend is trying to achieve, then that's kind of out of love as well - only a more teasing love.

Also, I don't mind cameras terribly. I've been embarrassed by a few facebook photos, but I figure that everyone knows my size - no use hiding it. Yes, some times I wish photos had gotten my "good side," but I don't worry about it too much.

[gagalu]

i used to hide from cameras. now i wish i could have more pictures taken just so i can know how other people see me! my journey has tendered loads of body dysmorphia and i often feel a lot bigger than i actually am.

[tubolard]

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Run away run away!!! Panic!!! Hit the dirt!!! Hide, hide, hide. Um yeah that about sums it up for me, lol.

[Kayles]

I usually quite like photos, I go off the idea of the more pictures people take of me the more likely I am to find one I like ahah
You're boyfriend doesnt sound like he's taken these pictures maliciously, it sounds like he was actually just taking photos of his beautiful girlfriend.

[kaplods]

I've never been camera shy and I think it's because in my family, photos were always associated with love, happiness, good times, important milestones and accomplishments.

I don't always like how the pictures turn out, but very rarely have I been ashamed of them.

The exception is naughty pictures. I don't mind hubby taking naughty photos, I just make him delete them when we're done playing, "so they don't fall into the wrong hands."

Hubby teases me about my paranoia, and it is kind of funny. I mean it's not like the tabloids are clamoring for naked pictures of me, but I'm not taking any chances.

[saef]

I'm fascinated by them, because of my own body dysmorphia: I really honestly want to see what I look like.

That's not to say that I always like what I see. Just that I really, really want to see it. To know it.

[Vex]

Hah, I find I want MORE pictures of me now, but no one ever takes them! I can take them of myself, but that's kind of lame. I'd really like to see how I'm comparing in size now to other people, because it's tough mentally to get a handle on it.

[TheSecondHalf]

Originally Posted by Euphy

My boyfriend and I went to the zoo last week, so I was just uploading everything on my camera. I discovered a lot of pictures my boyfriend had secretly taken of me. In the kitchen cooking, on the couch, at the computer.

I don't think I've ever felt so bad about myself. I didn't know I looked that gross. I honestly just feel disgusted with myself. I was so excited this morning too, because I've FINALLY starting dropping some weight ever since I quit birth control. I don't want this to send me into a depression.

I've asked him not to take pictures of me because I can't handle seeing what I look like to other people. I don't know if he does it to make me feel bad about myself so I'll try harder to lose weight, but that's how it makes me feel.

I know some people like before pictures to see the progress they've made, but it just really tears me up. It doesn't help me at all.

I like some photos better than others. I've had the experience of thinking I look pretty good, only to see the pics later and think wow, who is that sweaty fat lady!

But my real concern is why is your boyfriend doing anything "secretly" that you've asked him not to do, and do you really think he'd try to "shame" you into losing weight and then try to pass it off as "for your own good"? These are not the markers of healthy boundaries.