I agree wthat the first step is acknowledging a problem--and you've done that, even though it's very hard.
I think you should reconsider not wanting to go back to therapy--it's probably what you need most right now. Therapy is NOT failure--it is an acknowledgement that you need some help with what's going on in your life right now. We don't hesitate to see the dr when we have a sinus infection, or the mechanic when the check engine light comes on, or the plumber when the toilet overflows. You've got some emotional issues overflowing--and a professional can help you work through them.
Can you bring yourself to tell your husband what is going on? He can't support you and help you if he doesn't know.
I wish you the best of luck.
Goal: Back to where I was!