Little bit of a mental quandary--dress shopping - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

elvislover324 · 05-21-2013, 10:22 AM

After reading FlashFact's post with her gorgeous dress and pictures, it makes me want to go buy a dress to wear this weekend for a cookout we are going to. I haven't seen some of these people since before my weightloss adventure so I know my weightloss will come up whether I wear a gym suit or a fancy outfit. (Hello anxiety! I hate to be the center or topic of attention, believe it or not. I get very nervous when I think people are looking at me or talking about me, even if it's in a good way!)

So I was looking at dresses online (very casual style) and in my head I kept saying the following:

1. Nope, not long enough. I have skin on my knees that hasn't tightened up yet (if ever) and it looks like 2 elephant legs with droopy skin.

2. Nope, sleeves aren't long enough (I'd prefer long sleeves but summer dresses don't come that way LOL!). I need the sleeve to be "tight" enough to not let my batwings peek out, but not too tight that my arms look fat.

3. Nope, the waist is too tight and I will look like I'm pregnant.

4. Nope, the waist is too flowy and I will look like I'm pregnant.

5. Nope, the butt is too tight and I will cause a whole "Baby Got Back" song to break out in groups when I walk by.

6. Nope, the butt is too loose and I will look like I'm wearing a full diaper.

7. Maybe I will just wear capris and a nice top and keep dreaming about a dress.

UGH!

Anyone else have these conversations with themselves?

These are 4 styles in my head that I wish I could just wear and be comfortable in. But I look foolish in every single one!

Amarantha2 · 05-21-2013, 10:29 AM

I bet you would look beautiful in any of these great styles.

freelancemomma · 05-21-2013, 10:35 AM

I would go for style 3 or 4: flowy, forgiving, and fabulous! That's just my bias, though. I don't like preppy.

:-) Freelance

Katydid77 · 05-21-2013, 10:43 AM

Honestly the first two styles I can't wear at all myself and I love them. With being curvy my belly (front) and my hips (side) always bulge in them and they require not touching anywhere on your body to look nice. (IMO)

I love them, and I even tried one very similar to the top one on the other day b/c it was on sale and 2 sizes higher than I wear, so I thought that would make it okay. And even though it didn't 'touch' the shoulders were so big it looked awkward. So, I couldn't buy it, even though it would have been $5. For me to pass up a deal like that was tough. LOL

Anyway, ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE SMALLER! And, like you said, we all have little idiosyncrasies about our bodies that we aren't wild about, you fit into smaller clothes and there IS styles out there that is perfect for you.

My style is very different from my friends, and always will be. For years I thought everyone should wear 'jeans and a tee shirt' when trying to be relaxed or casual, but, try as I might, they didn't look that good on me and I felt weird in them.

It took me a long time, and a bit of independent thinking, to be comfortable with the fact that I simply prefer knee length skirts and tops with collars. I'm VERY picky about the length of the skirt - to the knee or just below, NOT ever above the knee and never past mid calf.

In THAT look I am me. I fade into existence in anything else, but in that simple outfit, I always get compliments from total strangers about how I look, esp women that say "I love that little skirt you're wearing". (not to mention my bf can't get enough of it

)

I only own one pair of blue jeans and that those I bought on clearance to have in case we got hiking or something that would require that type of pants. I bought them 2 years ago and maybe have worn them twice.

Don't be afraid to experiment and find your style, and don't be discouraged if it's not the current 'thing' they are pushing.

Go dedicate some time and find an outfit that you REALLY want to wear this weekend! It can help you start evolving your 'look'

Lumia · 05-21-2013, 10:52 AM

the first style seems perfect for "batwings", and you can handle horizontal stripes now that you've lost right?

just pick a length at the knee and not higher (which is the most flattering for any legs btw)

PreciousMissy · 05-21-2013, 11:08 AM

I really like #1, but it doesn't fit the past the knee preference. Have you thought about a maxi dress? They go all the way to the floor, but are very summery. I have one that I love that I wear with a light sweater. Or you could Google a tea length summer dress. No matter what you buy, wearing it with confidence is going to make it even that much more sexy!

bethFromDayton · 05-21-2013, 11:13 AM

I agree with freelance--those last two styles are flattering and forgiving.

The first one is pretty, but I don't think the second one looks good even on that slender model--it's just a boring dress :-)

You can find a dress--you'll look lovely!

nitrus29 · 05-21-2013, 11:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elvislover324

So I was looking at dresses online (very casual style) and in my head I kept saying the following:

1. Nope, not long enough. I have skin on my knees that hasn't tightened up yet (if ever) and it looks like 2 elephant legs with droopy skin.

2. Nope, sleeves aren't long enough (I'd prefer long sleeves but summer dresses don't come that way LOL!). I need the sleeve to be "tight" enough to not let my batwings peek out, but not too tight that my arms look fat.

3. Nope, the waist is too tight and I will look like I'm pregnant.

4. Nope, the waist is too flowy and I will look like I'm pregnant.

5. Nope, the butt is too tight and I will cause a whole "Baby Got Back" song to break out in groups when I walk by.

6. Nope, the butt is too loose and I will look like I'm wearing a full diaper.

7. Maybe I will just wear capris and a nice top and keep dreaming about a dress.

maybe you need to stop imagining what you 'WILL LOOK LIKE' in these dresses and just go to the store, try them on and get a major NSV

elvislover324 · 05-21-2013, 12:16 PM

I think I will be planning a trip to the store tomorrow!! Thanks so much for these responses. I was so happy looking at FlashFacts post and then I got myself all wound up looking at pictures of dresses for myself!!

And as far as the boring dress, I want to looking boring and normal!!!

Maybe no one will notice I look different. Maybe someone will think my husband got a girlfriend and brought her to the party. Maybe I will have an epiphany by then that I look ok!!

I was thinking too, my hair is so much darker now since I can't color it (my low cal diet and my meds caused hair loss which could be made worse with hair treatment so I can't color it) so with my "invisible making" sunglasses that I hide behind, this could be fun maybe if no one knows who I am?!

Renwomin · 05-21-2013, 12:52 PM

Clothes shopping when you've lost weight is so much fun. I hope you have a wonderful time! I'm sure you will find something fabulous. A fun skirt with the right top (or top and fun jacket) might be wonderful too. Sometimes it is easier than finding a whole dress that works great on every part of your body.

Emme · 05-21-2013, 03:43 PM

I have conversations with myself like this all the time. It is frustrating. What we are so focused on are things that probably no one else is noticing at all. I think #3 and #4 would be the most flattering on most people. #1 has no shape to it and #2 is just not my style, haha. I bet you actually look great in these...give yourself more credit!

Robin41 · 05-21-2013, 06:33 PM

I actually own dress number one. The best part of the dress is the sleeves. They're a little longer without looking heavy and wintery, and they do hide that little bit of extra skin quite nicely However, the horizontal stripes are rough. I'm tall and quite thin at this point and they still make me look heavier than I am. The dress really does rely on you to provide the shape; it's a little clingier than it looks in pictures and shows what you've got, good and bad. I think whether you can pull it off depends a lot on your own confidence level.

I like styles #3 and #4. The belt or gathering at the waist gives them some structure that the first two don't have.

Get in there and just try stuff on. It may take twenty dresses to find the right one, but that's fine.

ikesgirl80 · 05-21-2013, 06:38 PM

And you can take pics from the dressing room and post them here! We will help you decide!

elvislover324 · 05-22-2013, 05:09 PM

LOL I don't post pics on the internet, I live off the grid as best as possible! I don't even have a Facebook account and everyone I know was warned not to post anything with me in it (how will I know if they do? IDK!).

So...I found a dress!! I think I love it but we'll see.

It is a Chaps dress, it's brown with pinky coral, tan and vanilla dots (it's not as orange as my phone camera shows). I loved it when I saw it...then I saw the price! $95...marked down 90%...$9.50...plus I had a 20% off coupon...$7.60!!!! I'd never pay $95 in Kohl's for a dress as everything is eventually on sale or you have a coupon but less than $8?? I'm very excited! I have strappy brown casual heels to wear with it so I'm all set. I thought of all of you (and what security was thinking) when I went in the dressing room like 5 times with a bunch of dresses at a time!

Kohls site doesn't have my dress on it but this one is the same style, just different colors. You can see the colors in the 2nd picture with the price on it. I can't believe how cheap it was. Even if I wear it just once it will be worth it!!

Kohls doesn't let you copy pictures on their site so I had to screen print and cut.

PreciousMissy · 05-22-2013, 05:34 PM

What a cute cut! I like the colors, too! Even more than that...I LOVE the price! Well done!