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Old 05-13-2013, 04:42 AM   #186
Muse17's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 51

S/C/G: S188/C184/G160

Height: 5 ft. 6 inches


Hello everyone and thanks for your warm welcome and stories wannaskipandlaugh, you no longer need to speak to yourself!

I got on the scales this morning and lost a pound overnight which is a good start to the day after a not very good night.
Yesterday I was very down ( big relationship problems and big broken heart, partly caused by my mood swings). I had a big healthy vegetarian brunch ( but watching the fat and sugar content and portions). I wanted to go swimming for the first time in years but I sat there all ready to go for two hours first feeling very depressed and unable to move. But then after feeling deeply indecisive and neurotic I told myself to go out the door for an hour to walk or go swimming or any activity at all and took my swimming costume and a towel with me.
I went to a public pool outside my area, maybe ashamed of my size, and because my local pool is where waif-like models go swimming or I had visions of groups of kids splashing me and diving on top of me, I even thought my costume would fall off and my boobs would jump out if I did the breast stroke too vigorously.
But in any case I travelled to an outdoor pool, it was fantastic, only a few people so I was able to go in the slow lane and swim on my back. I also had invited a friend round in the evening so that I was not on my own and so had a quick dinner before he arrived. Later big traumatic phone calls with partner and lots of distress but afterwards I limited my comfort eating to a couple of prunes , and two naughty yummy bowls of yogurt, tahini and blackcurrant jam but stopped at two bowls!
I think that having company, keeping busy, limiting the comfort eating and most of all the swimming has helped. I am dealing with many very difficult emotional and financial problems, even going swimming is a big expense, so I am going easy on myself in terms of slimming and exercise. Outdoor swimming pool was excellent, I found I float a lot better since I put on weight!
Have a good day everyone!
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