Originally Posted by veggiedaze
IHonestly, I know I will never go back to how I was before. I know this now. I've thought this before at times but with a tiny skeptical voice in the back of my mind. It's different now though. That voice is gone.
It sounds like you're learning a lot about yourself on this journey, Veggiedaze. At the same time, I sometimes get the sense that you sound almost TOO optimistic in some of your posts. Perhaps that's one aspect of the OCD -- you want to have this beast PERFECTLY conquered, just like you've wanted to eat PERFECTLY clean in the past.
I'm no expert, but I do wonder whether it may be more productive (and realistic) to embrace imperfection in your relationship with food. Just as a recovered alcoholic can never take sobriety for granted, I believe we food types can't take our abstinence (whether that means no restricting, no trigger foods, or whatever we've chosen to abstain from) for granted.
Insisting that you solve your food issues once and for all could set you up for a big fall, if ever you slip (which all of us do). What I'm suggesting is that you don't need to solve this as you would a Rubik's cube. You just need to take it a day at a time and celebrate the learning process.