Thanks Inglesita. That's helpful. Today I was at 127.8 which felt better though I know it's likely water weight swings due to consuming so many carbs. I don't want to focus on the scale as much because I get obsessed but feel like I have to in the next month or so while I get this under control. And in true pear fashion I feel like any weight gain went straight to my butt and saddlebags. It's barely noticeable to anybody else but I can feel my pants just a but tighter which makes me cringe. And truth is that I look better than ever, smaller clothes still fit me well, they are just not as loose as they were. I am mostly concerned with the behavior which is destructive because I have been hiding food and eating in secret and not even enjoying it. Just like an addict. I am going grocery shopping this morning and restocking on whatever healthy stuff I want.
I lost weight the healthy weight. This craziness started because I joined a 90 day challenge at the gym and the interesting part is that it wasn't as much restricting what I ate because I actually increased my intake to fuel my workouts, but I think the pressure of having a time limit and somebody checking my food log and stats. I finished the challenge, got down to 120 and 15% body fat and then rebelled. UGH I should have known better. I have to do this on my own terms no pressure. My goal for today is not to binge today.