I am a newbie but welcome back carbmonster. I know exactly how you feel. It only takes a little bite of something to make me binge on it. Sugar and carbs are like crack to me. I haven't gotten my shippment of meals yet, but I already have planned what I am going to have to eat for the Monday I start the program. I do great and then all of a sudden there is a family gathering or a holiday and I go off and don't go back on the wagon.
You are right, you deserve to love your body. You are the most important thing to yourself and deserve to be healthy and feel great. I hide behind my pudge too. When I was in my late 20's I lost about 40lbs and felt and looked great. Guys were looking at me and asking for a date. I did not know how to handle it so the way I did so was to eat and gain back about 60lbs. I am still struggling to get it off, going on diets going off diets etc. I plan on making this work and will not tell any of my family that I am on it. They can also be the monkey wrench thrown in to sabotage everything.
I will be here to rant, rave and just talk.